Constantly * Changing

just another.

2011-03-29T15:25:00.032+08:00

"when was the last time you blogged again?"

"i honestly don't know."

that would most likely be my reply should anyone ask about my return to blogging again.

i reckon that some of my readers (if not all) would have turned in every bit of their loyalty by now. there are times when i felt the spark for writing ignite for a moment, but they only ever last for fraction of a second. there are also times when i tried to make an effort to get my lazy butt off the chair and sit myself down in front of the screen, place my hands on the keyboard and open up my blogging platform... but then i thought: what IS there to write about?

ever since i started writing in 2007, this blog has always served as a personal space for expression; i wrote when i was happy and i wrote when i was sad, i wrote when i laughed and i wrote when i cried. i could write about anything and everything that goes through my mind. and the best part i remember was knowing that people read what i wrote and some even took the initiative to write me or leave a comment, be it good or bad.

i've also experienced a whole lot of things that i never would have learned if not for blogging; i took random photos from google and used them without giving credit to the owners and i received emails from said owners expressing their disapproval for my act of ignorance - from there i experienced the importance of copyright. i wrote about books and music and art, and i receive emails from people telling me how my taste and theirs are similar, how they'd like to suggest more things that i might like - i then knew that i wasn't alone in the world and there were other people out there who share the same interests as i did. there were also musicians and producers (those from a smaller scale, of course) who wrote to me and asked if i could review their band/artist on my blog for them - and this at least helped me understand that my writings are not completely crap (ego-stroking moment lol).

i wrote about my happiness and sadness on my blog in forms of proses and writings, and people approached me telling me how much they appreciate my writing, or they would offer a few criticisms (which i highly appreciate at times, excluding the occasional rude comments which i try not to allow myself to dwell upon) - this was where i learned and grow from the opinions of others.

i still love my blog to bits, regardless of how much i've neglected it in the past few months. on a side note, i will not deny the fact that i feel ashamed that i no longer have the same amount of passion for writing as i did before. back in the days, i could pick up a pen and write without restrictions - now i could barely churn out anything anymore.

the other night i was lying in bed and staring ahead as the shadows teased each other amongst the bedroom ceiling and walls. come to think of it, i'm not sure how and why i got to the point of pondering but i started to realise how much more private i've become. as i grow older i started to leave the attention-seeking behind; i realised that even though it felt nice to be able to express myself freely and limitlessly and knowing that there are others who read about my life and cared enough to share their thoughts with me, i always felt that i fell short. it was then that i knew that it was because i wasn't happy.

don't get me wrong though, i loved my life (and i still do) but there was always a part of me missing and this blog was the only thing i knew that would help to fill up the spaces - spaces which made me feel alone and i didn't like that, the loneliness that lingered within me and ate me up because i was insecure.

the thought of being alone scared me senseless.

i can't remember the exact moment when i started appreciating the time i had alone. maybe it was the fatigue from constantly basking myself in activities that shook me and thus making me braver, the final push that drove me to put my foot down. i knew i didn't like the feeling of loneliness, and most of the time it came from being alone... but as i gradually came to understand that there was a difference between being alone and being lonely, i slowly came to terms with it. sometimes being alone doesn't necessarily mean being "lonely" - sometimes a person needs a break from everything else to keep things balanced.

i used to think that blogging about my feelings and my thoughts and practically anything that crossed my mind would liberate me from all the negative emotions that i had inside of me - as they say, "writing is a form of release". but then again i figured: what is there left for myself to keep if i continue to dump every single thought inside my head and throw every single fact about myself out there for the whole wide world to see?

plainly, nothing's considered uniquely mine anymore.

i guess it's safe to say that a lot of things have changed, and i realised how much certain things mean to me now - so much so that i know they're too precious and i can't risk losing them. i'm no longer constantly too emotional about things (but occasionally still am) and i don't need to know that 'there are other people out there like me'. i have a bunch of people whom i keep close to my heart and i'm happy keeping them safe that way. i'm content with my life and i'm no longer sad anymore (epic confession right there).

people would argue that my life isn't glamorous, nor is it the least "hip and happening" as how most people dream of theirs to be - and i'm perfectly fine with that. i used to yearn for it like everyone else but i realised how much the little things in life, no matter how unglamorous they may be, mean so much more. occasionally i'd like things to be slightly more interesting, but i don't want it all the time.

life has its ups and downs, it's inevitable, but i'm happy now and that's all that matters to me.

with that said, i think i'll take a break from blogging from now on. being in the communications field has taught me to keep my mind running and perpetually churn opinions and suggestions, but i'll find another platform of expression for that sometime in the future. i'll most likely be starting a new blogsite, a less personal one. the idea of keeping a blog for my personal use still lingers in my mind, but i don't think we'll see that coming anytime soon. blogs are meant to be read so i don't see why i should keep a strictly private one, but if i should ever decide on a more personal blog, it would be highly unlikely to see the link published anywhere commercial.

as of now, michellious.blogspot.com is officialy laid to rest.

discover me discovering you.

2011-01-23T20:09:00.006+08:00

"out with the old, in with the new."

that's the one thing that always comes to mind whenever i think about stepping into a new year.

2011, another year gone and a new one arrives; this calls for the need to return to my same-old "catch phrase" that i use for my new year's posts every year: time passes me by ever so fast. sometimes i wonder where all that time has gone to. has it ever made you wonder why it feels like time just gets shorter as we grow older? i see people posting statuses on Facebook demanding for 48 / 72 / 54675156451 more hours in a day just because they don't have enough time for this or that.

but let's start with Honesty here if you have that on your new year's resolutions list: we all know that we just need to organize our time properly and stick to it. :P

i know i haven't been blogging at all like how i promised i would, and technically i've literally skipped posting in december because there isn't much to talk about and my december was shaky as i struggled on with some personal things going on inside my complicated little head, but alas i have a responsibility to my readers (if i still have any that is, hehe) so i've decided to update my blog once again just in case anybody decides to read it.

but in any case:

"HAPPY NEW YEARS 2011 EVERYBODEH! :D"

i was reliving memories in 2010, and i dare say that it's been one of the most unforgettable years of my life. so many things have changed, and yet many have stayed the same. i laughed, cried, and loved so much more. more friends have left, and yet so much more has come.

it's always like that, isn't it? people always leave.

but then again i realise that sometimes, some people don't.

the phenomenon of life's contradictions. sometimes you just can't go with just one theory because there will always be others to prove it wrong.

"Constantly Changing", right? ;)

i secretly wished for 2010 to stay, because i had one of the best fun and laughs that i know i'll remember for the rest of my life. however, Happiness is for one to create and maintain. it took me quite a while to understand and adjust to that, and it's even harder to assure myself during the darker days that eventually comes and leaving me high and dry. but i'm going to try, no matter what it takes.

there's always the rainbow after the rain, yeah?

yeah, optimistic outlook towards life FTW. \m/

i do, however, have to inform my readers that one of the main reasons why i haven't been blogging so much (if any at all at times) is that i realised that i've become a more private person. i remembered being one of those people who always wanted to put myself out there, giving the public a deeper insight into my life regardless of who they may be. i used to enjoy the attention, to be honest; i loved knowing that there are people out there who cared to read about my life and what goes on in it.

however, as i grow with time, i gradually came to understand that sometimes there are certain dangers in which i do not foresee and there are certain limits of which i have to pay attention to when it comes to disclosing my private life to the public. learning about the internet and what it can do has definitely made me understand how powerful of a tool it is for everyone - and anyone - who has access to it.

therefore, i write less about what's going on in my life because so much more have become so personal to me, and i wish to treasure that only to myself and those i keep close to my heart.

i do miss blogging a lot though, because i feel that it's the only output for my thoughts and opinions. unlike most people who prefer a faster and more convenient way of expressing themselves (i.e Facebook statuses & Twitter updates), i still prefer blogging since it has a wider platform for my freedom of expression. i'm not a person who talks a lot, but when it comes down to the things in my brain, it may shock people.

come to think of it, this personal blog site of mine has been with me since 2007 - so technically this old puppy's four years old. applaud applaud for my trusty little blog site. :) my loyal readers would know that starting from my oldest post and ending here at the most recent one, you can definitely tell how much my writing style has changed and grown over the years; i've dropped some styles and picked up/developed a few more - some i wish i could maintain and others i was happy to be rid of.

but overall i'd say that it makes me feel warm to be able to see the revolution of my works and my writings.

well hopefully i'll have more to write about soon in the future, and maybe i'll have a couple or more posts lined up for my readers this month.

but here's a thank you post, for those who've stayed with me throughout the years that i have blogged.

a toast, to so much more. :)

Dancin' out on 7th street; where do you go when you're lonely?

2010-11-26T12:01:00.009+08:00

a third post in a month - improvement!

after four months i am finally back home, bumming out as much as i can. i'm getting mixed feelings at the moment, struggling between wanting to relax but needing to work for money at the same time. i find it stressful how employers in a town such as this are reluctant to hire full-time workers who could only stay for a short period of time. placing myself in their shoes, it's absolutely understandable since they want workers who would stay so as to prevent the fuss of having to find others to replace those who leave once every two months. nevertheless, it's driving me over the wall how much i'm pressured into finding a job before december 1st.

sigh it's so hard to find media-related work for a media student in a small place like this. :(

and to be honest i'm still trying to get used to the fact that it looks like 3pm when it's still 12pm here (it turns almost pitch black when it's only 6.30pm; back in KL it only ever starts to dim around 7.15pm-ish).

it really feels as if time flies away when one is back in miri.

finally saw dad's after-surgery scar. youngest sister claims it to be an earthworm, thus dad's new nickname cacing.

visited the new Mega Mall situated along the road to the airport. sister brought me around Tai Kiong where they have neat rows of groceries that at least make me smile. a few places that are new have been opened as well, i've yet to visit all of them. miri's turning out to be quite a little city, which makes me happy yet sad at the same time. it's slowly losing its authenticity but at least it's moving up the scale.

heck, there's finally a second McDonald's now - with a 24 hour drive thru.

most of the time i just bum around at my parents' office though, sitting across the table from my mum's while she munches on peanuts from little packets when the afternoons are draggy.

finally showed parents my new year's outfit, chosen courtesy of Stick Friend because she's awesome at picking out new things for me like that. i'm pretty happy to say that i finally own a pair of jeggings (jeans in the form of leggings, for those in need of explanations to fashion jargons *wink*), but now i'm pressured to keep my shape.

which is pretty hard considering that both my grandmothers are on a mission to blow me up since i have, in their terms, "gotten too skinny".

regardless of being separated by the south china sea, i had a nice hour or two chatting up with my friends still. had a skype session with wei wen the other afternoon (luckily i caught him right at the moment that he got up).

i'm still trying to search for plane tickets so i can have them over in miri. i dread to think about next year, how our little circle of friends have reduced to the size of only 5.

imma miss mah stick friend and twirly boy. :(

what i'm really excited about though, is waiting on my second sister to get back. it's been close to a year since we've all seen her. i just want her back here because at least i have someone to talk to at home as opposed to the younger one who would prefer to hang out with her friends.

wished my high school friends were back home, and i totally need to get my friends over here. *headdesk*

i've been rethinking during the holidays, how i need serious organising next year in 2011. so many new responsibilities, so many things to juggle. looking at the second year courses makes me a little worried. i've been thinking about reconstructing my blog as well, deciding whether i should stick to this one or start a new one, wondering if i could ever update as frequently as i could before since i've grown to learn that i'd rather keep my private life to myself rather than having to display everything out there to anyone with internet access.

long gone are the days of being as carefree as a child now, isn't it?

(untitled)

2010-11-12T18:00:00.003+08:00

sometimes i struggle, not knowing what to do.

i tell myself "it's a phase",
but is it really?

all this,
things that's been pushing me downward

downward
downward
downward.

sometimes i wish i knew what was going on;

what's draining my mind
what's pushing my heart into the dark
what's pulling me away from my safety zone.

i go to bed at night,

hoping to get a glimpse
a touch
a breath of what is real.

but now it feels shaky,
the ground beneath me rumbling

breaking into pieces
forcing me to hold on.

hold on
hold on
hold on

it feels so hard trying to,

when all i could ever wish for

is just for those two hands to hold me tight

for just one night

and make everything okay again.

my energy slipping away,

sometimes it's hard to do this alone

you know?

but i pray

i pray.

gold is fleeting.

2010-11-01T06:39:00.006+08:00

you don't hear from me for a month and suddenly, out of nowhere, here i am: up and blogging in the early hours of 6 in the morn.

but just a quickie this time round because classes are in a bit.

october has gone by in a flash and we stop to take a look around, realising that we've already reached the second last month of 2010.

one of the many things i will remember about waking up early to catch the ride to uni: a view from the seats at the last row inside our mini-van.

it's funny how things change, as of many things in life do.

and the way that we tend to go back to the beginning and reminisce from then on;

i still remember the day we naively stepped into our first day of college life,

the way i struggled at the beginning of my first semester as a 1st year degree student, fear still lingering upon every inch of my breath as i pictured all the challenges that are placed before me,

and now alas, i'm finishing my second semester and completing my first year degree.

how much older i feel, regardless if i have only grown just a little more since then.

NatashaAwesomeSim, hanging around at the new near the lakeside at campus in the evenings.

to say that i have grown alone would be an understatement;

so much of us have sprouted along.

some have it easy, some learned it the hard way.

but regardless of all the things that have happened, we fought our way through. doing it solo and doing it together. it still amazes me how much could change in a year, how people loved and lost, how we let go and let live.

>meen and natasha, just chillin' in the evenings while we wait for the traffic to subside.

views from the lakeside.

sometimes i lay in bed thinking whether i should be glad or sad about the year ending. the year hadn't been the easiest, but it's definitely one of the most eventful, i'd say.

if only i knew the right words to put it.

so many things to talk about, but so little time.

-

time for uni, more updates coming your way (soon, hopefully).

I know everything you don't want me to.

2010-09-15T21:43:00.008+08:00

when i saw this picture i smile and thought to myself that it's about high time i updated my blog. LOL

i'm not sure if i still have readers on this blog since i've been neglecting it for so long. i seldom update nowadays; the most i would do is writing one post per month, sometimes one in two months if i'm busier. i highly doubt anyone ever checks in anymore, but with the amount of things happening to me for the past few weeks, sometimes writing is one of the best things that can help me.

i guess maybe that's why i never deleted my blog even though my updates are close to non-existent: sooner or later, i'll come back to it.

-

so what has the tiny one been up to?

technically my main concern at the moment would be my assignments in uni. for those who have followed my blog ever since i started writing would know that i never stress about assignments or any form of school work. nevertheless, i suppose i'm falling into one of those phases where the pressure of wanting to do better gets to me and i focus too much on wanting to make my work perfect rather than focusing on what's important - doing the best that i can.

i remembered that there was not a time in my life in which i worry about assignments. heck, when SPM was around the corner, i didn't even focus on anything. i only skimmed through the pages thinking "aah. what a fuss. i'll just breeze through this.", but i guess it's different when it comes down to the higher educational level. my mind reminds me over and over again how much my parents are paying for the fees and how much more difficult this is as compared to "malaysian high school education". and if that's not enough, i've taken towards wanting to perfect things; pushing myself to be better than what i've done before.

but to be honest, i've lost so much of myself due to the excessive thinking (personal things of which i shall not mention in said blog), i forgot to how it felt to really let go and live. i focus too much on my own expectations and the expectations of others that i literally forgot to just let go like how i used to.

it's one of those times i realised that i need to set my mind straight again - pulling myself out from all the clutter in my head and clearing all of it, reconstructing from what is left of the mumbo-jumbo. this period that i'm experiencing painfully reminds me of my October 6th and the difficult time i had to push through, but i treasure what i learned from it and i should be pushing my way above it all again.

wish me luck though, i need all the support i can get.

there's a new addition to the family: princess cottonsocks! (said princess situated on my shoulder)

it's funny how everyone expects me to call her Horlicks since her big brother's Milo. XD my sister was telling me not to neglect Milo. pfft as if. these two are the reasons for me to be happy, and i wouldn't love the other any less. <3

... but i have to admit, i'm a huge sucker for anything fluffy and tiny and adorable. so hide your puppies and bunny tots - you'll never know when an insane person like me might come around and steal anyone of them. >:)

one another note, i haven't been dedicating birthday posts to anyone for the longest of time. it's about time i did.

and who better to wish other than my roommate and long-time friend, Shella?

*somewhat* the person of my foundation.

i still remembered the time when we first had our first impressions of each other: her, a new student to our school at a tender age of 10 going on 11 and me, your typical happy-go-lucky child who happens to be studying at the school that she's been enrolled in.

my very earliest memory of this little ball of cuteness was at the stairs inter-connecting the senior classes with ours: she wasn't hard to spot since she was wearing a long-sleeved white top while our given shirts have short sleeves. she was wearing that same blank emotionless expression that she still has till this day, and she was walking aimlessly. even when i didn't know her then, i could tell she was new and that she was different, an aura that i couldn't put my finger on.

i still remembered the time she told me she thought i was weird because i smiled too much haha.

looking back, we've been through a lot while growing up together. we've learnt of friendship, of joy and heartbreak, of the ups and downs in life. when we moved out to continue our higher education, we've been together still, sharing our newly different lives and the people we meet in it. i had always been more fragile, and she'd been the one who's put up with all my heartbreak and the tears. and she'd been there for me when i was happy as well.

people say that living with a person you've always been friends with is different, and i can't agree more. through the good times and the bad, i have to say that i wouldn't give it up for anything else in the world.

both of us have grown up so much since the day we've left our safety zone. you've been there for me as much as i have for you. i remember seeing you grow, secretly i'm really proud of you and all the achievements that you've made. in my own little way, i've always loved you, even more than i should, regardless of whether i told you that i do.

continue being the beloved little child inside, shella. you've always held on to your own beliefs and never let anyone made you think otherwise, so i'm not worried at all. you're independent enough from the start. i know that someday both of us would have to go our separate ways, but always know that you have a friend in me no matter what and i'll always be there for you if you ever need me.

you'll be great someday. i know and believe that you are.

i hope that you had the best birthday today, roomie. a toast, to our 9-year-friendship and so much more.

Put your hands on the monkey, take your hands off the money.

2010-08-08T17:56:00.011+08:00

after M.i.A for a long while, i'm finally back for another round of updates! yes i know, i haven't been updating for a long time now. there's no specific reason, to be honest. life has just been a little bit too hectic for me to update on anything that's been going on.

semester 2 has proven to be more theoretical AND hands-on than the first semester. we're doing four subjects like semester 1 but this time round we're having a course of Media Literacies and Global Societies (mainly opinion-based papers) together with Introduction to Digital Media, and Issues in Publication and Design. the latter two sounded pretty exciting until we scanned through the assignments and requirements lol.

we only have a tiny inkling as to how stressful this term would be, but in ms jenny's words: if you think semester 1 was tough, you haven't seen ANYTHING yet.

i've been haunted by that line ever since.

-

above: gyuniku no yasai maki (beef and vegetable rolls);
below: szechuan hot and sour soup.

ever since i got back, i managed to make these two dishes that i've been wanting to make for quite a while. my determination and with the support from The Dragon, everything went okay; i managed the beef and vegetable rolls quite well, even though it didn't taste as good as when i did it back at home. and my hot and sour soup was neither as hot nor as sour as the originals. nevertheless, they weren't big flops either so all went quite okay.

with more practice in the kitchen i might be able to handle these without having to check the recipes the next time. : )

-

my kick-ass germany converse shoes!

i've been going on about how much i wanted these pair of beauties before i went back home during the holidays - but now that i've returned to The City, these were knicked off the shelves the day that i got back.

couldn't help it, i was worried that someone else might knick it off the shelves before i got to them first hehe. the red laces pwns all! \m/

-

i paid my senior friends a visit the other day and had the best home-cooked filipino food everrrr. ATE I MISS THE KARE KARE AND JEANNE I MISS THE SPICY SINIGANG OMGAH! *dies*

homemade sinigang!

i have an unexplainable and undying love for international foods, and the moment i tried this back at home for the first time, it just kept me begging for moreeeee. *salivates* hehe.

-

and here comes my very random outfit update:

who dat gurl?

wei wen randomly picked this off the rack while we were shopping around at the mall. it didn't look like anything when it was hanging there amongst other clothes but surprisingly this was what happened when i put them on.

yes. there's a lady hidden beneath all of what you see on the outside. :P unfortunately it costs a mind-blowing RM114 so i couldn't get it. T_T

and say hello to the newest addition to my statement tees - OMG WTF.

hehehe i love this shirt to bits. it doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary because i keep smiling, but it's hilarious when one attempts to keep a straight face when wearing this around, i'll give ya that.

*note: new Eye of Ra necklace. my life is complete.

-

i went on a massive house-cleaning mode today and finally cleaned and cleared all the things that i've been dying to rearrange and clean around the house.

my area on the fridge top: it used to be filled with plastic bags of garlic and onions and plastic containers with a thickened layer of dust. now everything inedible is dumped away and all my containers are cleaned out and my bottles of condiments are rearranged. : )

my shelf: rearranged and dusted off of any dust particle that lived amongst my things. quite a few of unwanted things were thrown away to make space for the things that i'm keeping. some of my books are rearranged too to make more space for other things. the bottom shelf is cleared of most of the things that are not needed for display so my new toiletries can snuggle perfectly in their new spacious comfort zone.

and i love the way my daisy fits the green background of my G705 box. :D

the space beneath the windows: this place was so infested with junk and dust i swear i always cringe at the sight of it. i had loads of papers and files in a couple of bags that are optimum habitats for those darn dust bunnies infesting the area. i cleared all the unwanted papers and books and stuffed them in one bag and had them kept outside while i made use of the two converse shoe boxes i had and filled it with the things in the *insanely dusty converse plastic* bag that originally contained my trinkets.

what's left of all of that now is my laptop bag with the files and notebooks, an extra checkered bag, two converse shoe boxes (containing electronic things and trinkets respectively) and my guitar. : )

an overall look of my room. (yes i'll be needing a small stool for my laptop Devin so she won't have to sit on my bed, heating unnecessary spots up all the time)

my wall and table: used notebooks are cleared off the table and dusted, with most stuff taken off the walls, keeping only those that mean a lot to me. additional meaningful things are displayed and rearranged to fit nicely.

the newest addition to the wall:

"be the change you want to see in the world."
- Mahatma Gandhi.

another proud accomplishment would be the clearing of unwanted clothes from my cupboard. i'm planning to donate or recycle the clothes that i no longer wear so i placed them all into a gigantic bag and had them labelled for donation. my cupboard's still pretty packed but at least it's less dusty and it no longer has unwanted clothes piling in them.

i think i'm actually going to draft out a cleaning time-table for myself just so i can keep my place cleaner every day. i just realised that staying on the 17th floor of the building gives my room 100% access for huge amounts of dust particles to fly in from the highways outside into my room. what's more, my area's right next to the window so you can go figure how dusty it could get in a day. and with the rate of my hair falls, it's outrageous.

any household tips that you know that can help keep rooms sparkling clean all day? do share! :)

-

found this lovely duo online earlier and i got hooked with their music within seconds:

two loons for tea.

my entry title is inspired from their song "Monkey". an instant love, i assure you. :)

-

random question: why is it that my hair is perfect when i'm bumming around at home but it goes totally haywire the minute i decide to go out? someone please enlighten me.

steal me.

2010-07-13T08:39:00.007+08:00

and i am back from the dead. LOL

first and foremost, i'd like to apologize for the lack of updates for the past month. so much has been going around i could hardly juggle between things nowadays. i occasionally check my blog but seldom really have the time to update it properly. however, i'd like to thank those who have kept with my blog for so long and i want to thank a specific anonymous who wrote to me on my Cbox.

this update's for you mate. :)

------------------------------------------------------------

so what have i been up to recently? well i couldn't possibly explain each and every detail because despite having only a month pass me by, things have been crazy - and that's an understatement. i don't even know where to begin to be honest, because so much has happened and so much has changed.

tiff came down to malaysia for a visit during her summer holidays and she stayed over at my place for two days.

it felt really good to have her around, even for only a while. we haven't seen each other for two years, so being reunited felt really good and things haven't changed between us. :) we spoke for the most part, and shared a few secrets or two. ;) it's amazes me how much has happened in our lives and how much we've grown to learn about them as well.

with the world cup fever slowly toning down, i have GOT to get myself these pair on converse shoes. mine have bored holes already anyway (that's what i get for wearing them 24/7) and i really need a new pair. i found this gorgeous pair in the stores but unfortunately for me, they're under the world cup series so it might be off the shelves really quick. especially when this pair belongs to the germany team, and judging by my facebook germany has gotten themselves a LOT of die hard fans.

i'm just crossing my fingers hoping that it's still there because i REALLY want these pair of black and reds.

i've been home for the past two weeks or so. it's been really good (although not as relaxing as i'm still up and about, running errands for The Mother). i really miss how the beach is just a few minutes within reach here. all i had to do was drop by the supermarket on my way there to pick up some biscuits and a bottle of Minute Maid, and then head down to the beach to chill and think and relax for a bit.

i've been hanging out with The Sister quite a bit as well too. she may be a pain in the backside but at least she's starting to grow up a bit more and understand things. i'm pretty proud of her to say the least, for growing up and learning things on her own now. the sisterly bond was a bit awkward at first, i admit, since we never really do talk to each other at all when i was around, but nowadays it seemed appropriate that we should have a head start.

i miss her whiny annoying little ass.

totally random: my baby milo turned a month old last 28th! :)

bought him a lil cupcake with a candle to celebrate the baby shower haha. ^_^
(i don't care if i'm twenty i still like little things like this hehe, and p/s milo is one of the closest things i have to my heart)

i finally managed to have my first sinigang at the filipino restaurant that i was dying to go to since forever. it blew my mind away really, it tastes really divine. 8-D just THINKING about it makes me want more even!

it makes me wonder how the other half's would taste like. :)

i spent my last weekend heading down to brunei for some sushi.

people have always been raving about the cheap and awesome sushi down at Escapades so i pretty much rolled on the ground a couple of times while begging for my mum to bring me there.

so far it's pretty good. i don't get the whole ZOMGSUSHISOGOOODOKAY craze but it was better than most sushis i've had so far in Malaysia. the ones at Escapade was frighteningly huge so it was satisfying.

i just really wanted to have the ebiko since it's my favourite. wished i had the dragon with me though, she would've loved it there. :)

come to think about it, most of my holidays that were spent with friends were with these two monkeys.

i haven't seen CharT for over a year and Sarah for quite some time as well. it felt really good catching up with them since our sense of humor click quite well, and i was glad that none of that changed - we could still laugh about really stupid and lame things and throw sarcasm at each other like hot cakes. whoopah! i'm really going to miss them lots when i head back to KL.

more updates in the kitchen and my cooking adventures!

i know that i promised to make more dishes than this but i don't know why i just didn't manage to. hehe. the one that i managed to succeed in making was Gyuniku no Yasai Maki (Beef and Vegetable Rolls). i never expected myself to try out a Japanese recipe but it turned out quite well. it wasn't awesome, but it was definitely satisfying. :)

and guess who's the lucky girl who gets to try this out this weekend? hehe. ;)

the 20th witching hour would be up this coming friday. to be honest i'm pretty excited, even though i keep forgetting about it haha! yeah i know, i never thought i'd see the day when i can actually forget that my birthday's just around the corner. XD i guess when your mind thinks about something more than yourself, this happens. ;)

and i've been thinking about a few things recently. i'm leaving home this friday as well and i know that i'm really going to miss home as usual. everything i have is at home and everyone i love is back here too. family has always been the closest to my heart and no one can replace them in my heart...

but i also realised that i miss these bunch of people too.

when you have two bunch of people who you're really close to, and they just happen to be in two separate places, you would start to question yourself and where your heart is.

people always said that "Home is where the Heart is", but what happens when your heart is in both places at once? does that mean you're not loyal to your Home or does that mean your Home is somewhere else? it lead me to thinking that Home is not where the Heart is, but to believe that, rather, Home is WHEREVER the Heart is.

before i forget, by andre brink.

2010-05-19T08:41:00.006+08:00

"there are two moments in the relationship with every woman i have known in my life, which have brought me closer to understanding - even if it was without ever fully getting there - what it means to be alive. one is the moment of orgasm. not my own, but that of the woman i am with. because it is immesurably more wonderful than anything i could hope to feel myself. seeing - hearing, feeling, knowing - her in the throes of ecstasy, does not primarily bring sense of achievement, the Little Jack Horner syndrome (Look what a clever boy am I), but a sense of awe: this is what a human individual - this is she who is you - is capapble of.

it is an unfathomable combination of two sensations which ought to be essentially different, and yet are merged: it is a sharing, almost a fusion which leaves me with a feeling of unspeakable joy, even of gratitude (Thank you for allowing me to be with you in the ultimate moment); but also a feeling of utter solitude. i can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it - but i can never be on the inside of it with you. i cannot even be sure whether i really know what it is like. is it 'like' my own? or incomparable? just as i can never know if what you see at any given moment is exactly the same as what i see. we look at a colour, we both call it red. but it is only because we have been taught to call it by that name. there is no guarantee - not ever - that we see it in the same way, that your red is my red. how much more momentous is something like orgasm. but for that very reason your solitude, your quite literal wrapped-upness in it, cannot but bring that experience of what for lack of a better word i call awe.

the other moment is very, very different. and yet not, if one really thinks about it, so different at all. it is the moment when i wake up with a woman in my arms, and see her still sleeping. i raise myself on an elbow. i gaze. i gaze at her without even for a moment being able to understand anything at all of what i see. you: sleeping. the one i have shared a special experience with; the one i have shared hours, days, months, perhaps years of my life with. yet, here, in this instant, so utterly confirmed in your youness that you are turned into a mystery, i am conscious of being on the outside of it: it actually makes me feel an intruder, someone who should not be here at all, should not be allowed to gaze upon you in this ineffable moment of sleep. beacause here you are totally vulnerable, you have no protection against the world. except the protection of your own self. which, being unfathomable, leaves you so naked that you may just as well have been peeled from your skin, a grape, a transparent fruit, light in the heart of light. and that is a mystery, for ever.

and yet by falling asleep beside me, you have sanctioned, silently, this intrusion and this gaze. to sleep with someone can be more intimate than making love. it is a yielding, and a trust, that cannot be compared to anything else. you have granted me this. can i ever be worthy of it? this is a moment i come closest to understanding something of that overused and misunderstood word: love."

ref: Brink, A 2004, "Before I Forget", hardcover copy pp. 4-5, Seeker & Warburg, Great Britain.

.........................................

currently reading this. it fills my heart with so much emotions - so raw, so indefinite - sometimes it amazes me how a person is able to learn and grasp the language that only the heart understands, and then narrating the feelings to his readers in sentences so that we feel what he (or most of us) have felt in the heart but never in words.

i have got to get this book.

Raindrops of you.

2010-04-29T10:44:00.003+08:00

Droplets of tender coldness brushed against my fingers as the doors closed behind me. People were running, their eyes searching with desperation for a shelter to protect their shivering bodies against the downpour. I only stood there, unmoving for a minute, feeling the soft playful dancing of the raindrops against my skin. People ran, but I stayed. Others have often wondered what beauty I saw in the rain. I’ve always loved it when it starts drizzling; it cleanses the body, the soul, the mind. On the outside I would smile meekly but deep down inside my heart rejoices at every droplet that makes its way downwards. Where people felt the coldness of the winds, I felt only the warmth of nature’s blessing.

And then, I walked.

I walked without hesitation. With every step that I took, my smile only grew wider. The gentle winds blew, embracing me with such love that even I cannot comprehend; the delicate droplets of rain showered so much attention to me I could barely contain my joy. My breath made little clouds of warmth waltz from my mouth, and it seemed to tickle whenever I let out a light laughter of happiness. I lifted my face to greet the clouds and the rain that came for me.

One drop, two drops, three drops, four.

They were so beautiful, each and every one of them. I felt them nuzzling against my skin, tickling me into tiny giggles as they trickle down towards my neck. They greeted me and my body was their playground; they ran through my hair, soaking me through my clothes. People looked but I never minded; if they cannot enjoy the rain I might as well do it for them.

It rains and rains and everyone is rushing to move on; only my world stood still for that fraction of a moment, a moment so divine and delicate and beautiful that I was afraid to break it. So tender, so fragile. My world was at a standstill as the rain continued to pour, washing my worries away and filling it with so much emotions.

And then, there it was – that feeling. My mind felt it, and my heart felt it too. Every inch of my body pulsated as the thought stayed there so firmly in my soul. At that very moment, I felt that you were here with me. My heart pushed the thought of distance away from my mind and I let the emotions run wildly through my veins. With every touch of rain on my lips that I felt with my fingers, I only felt you. Through the soaked clothes and the passionate warmth that I feel in my soul, I only felt you.

Your presence resounds in my heart and it feels as if you are already here, and that much I know is true.

-Michellious
27 April 2010
6.14pm

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i miss writing like this; i miss doing proses like my passion's the only thing that fuels my life. : )

I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation; Only you can make me.

2010-04-26T08:13:00.011+08:00

it was way past midnight, but i had been wide awake for the most part.

i tore myself away from my bed and grabbed the book from the shelves. i felt for a pen on the table before making my way to the living room and turning on the lights to start penning. i sat there unmoving, trying to capture the emotions that seem to be passing me by like rockets but coming back to haunt me again in a flash, abandoning me as soon as it came. the vicious cycle kept going and going, leaving me hanging and wondering and giving me no respite.

and so i flipped the book open and started writing. i wrote and i wrote without holding back, writing the rawest feelings i could feel, leaving no space for mercy and wasting no time on regrets. i haven't been able to write like this in ages, and once i started i couldn't stop.

minutes passed, then hours. indulged in my own world of words and sentences, i was only brought back to reality once the first light from the break of dawn hit me. i felt the gush of the cold morning wind blowing through my bedroom window, sending chills down my spine, kissing every inch of my skin to icy numbness - a familiar feeling that greets me every time when i'm most unaware of it.

my fingers throbbed as i placed the pen down. i stood up and felt every inch of my body pulsating, feeling the ache radiating through my whole being and an unfamiliar sting shooting out from all of my fingers. my writings took up 6 pages in the book, but i didn't care. it felt good to write again, to get all those buried feelings out in the open, gradually breaking myself free from the shell that i have managed to conceal myself in. i wanted to love so much, because it feels as if sometimes it's the only thing i could do for the world; to love without holding back, to honour someone with all that i can give. i wake up in the mornings feeling that aching pleasure in my heart, but sometimes i reach out yet there's no one there. i focus my love on people who want it or need it, but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. i do not hope for anything in return, as there is no harm to give all that i can. i can only offer just as much, but i guess it will suffice for the most part. there are certain things that do not need explaining, and some things are better left unsaid - things will only unfold in due time.

but for the time being only writing can release me, freeing me from a world that once was and bringing me back to the reality that is supposed to be.

Define my mind, my body is too curious. So won't you show me all there is to know?

2010-04-24T10:39:00.023+08:00

working it all out at the lakeside library (do excuse the horrendous facial expression LOL).

it's the mid-sem holidays again but our scheduled are so packed with assignments that we can't even find time for a breather! time's almost running out as i type type type away and i'm still here procrastinating!

this is baaaaad.

BUT! i figured that since i needed to update my blog (given that it's been rotting on the web for quite some time hehe), it's a good reason to take my mind off work for a bit. : ) just going to do a mash-up of the things i've been interested in though, since there isn't anything awesome to blog about recently.

lil miss sophie michelle ellis-bextor. :)

sophie ellis-bextor is making a comeback and i can barely contain my excitement! i've always loved sophie's eccentric nu-disco music ever since her single "murder on the dance floor" became a hit. i watched her newest one the other day while filming our project at sheena's place and i squealed so hard.

can't wait until her latest album comes out in july/august! :D

Sophie Ellis-Bextor "Bittersweet"

i've never been much of an americon idol fan ever since kelly clarkson's victory back in 2002, but the 9th season that's been airing on TV isn't too bad. i have a feeling that maybe a couple of the new ones have more potential than the winners of previous seasons.

my favourite girls bowersox and magnus are left standing, and to be honest i can't really vote for one girl because that'd contradict with the equal love i have for the other. bowersox and magnus both give me the goosebumps when they perform, so whoever wins this season i don't really mind. as long as the winner is one of the two then i'm good to go.

i've really gotten into the spirit though: i even have the wallpapers up just to support them. :D

crystal bowersox the indie chic.

siobhan magnus the quirky woman with an outrageously good voice.

click for the larger image and save them to be used as wallpaper(1280x800)!

source: american idol website.

another interest that i've recently developed is football.

yes. football.

it's never been my thing, since i never understood the passion that most football fans have while watching a game: all that screaming when their respective teams scores a goal or the intensive cursing when they lose one.

the other day i decided to drop the ignorance and look up some of the videos on YouTube to see what the game was about. i was a bit amazed myself; never was i so intrigued by their teamwork and their ability to get the ball into the goal with such precision even when a herd of players from the opposite team were swarming them.

i wondered at the way they handled the ball so accurately and with ease - i had my first session of futsall the other day and i can't even handle it when there's just ONE person blocking me!

so which team have i decided to pledge my loyalty upon?

barcelona fc.

barca managed to keep me interested so far and so has the brazil FC too. is it just me or do they look like they're dancing when they play? i don't know about you but i find them really graceful when they're on the field.

did some shooting the other day and we had our pictures taken for the closing credits. it was pretty fun and all of us had pretty awesome pictures taken.

yours truly.

amber lil khoo.

dixie chic.

meen (and the ke$ha side of her)

sheena the queen bee.

marko darko.

wei wen the beaver.

so many assignments left to do - i think i might just go crazy! but nevertheless, it's something that we have to put up with for the next three years, so why whine right. *zips

i should be heading back to my assignments but before i do so, i will leave my dear readers with a bunch of awesome outfits and clothes i found on LookBook. i miss rummaging through those awesome pictures - to think that i have forgotten them for a while!!

simplicity at its finest! love the quilt!

awesome top and gorgeous combat boots!

there's just something about this picture and her top. oui oui indeed!

that blazer and those shoes!!

somehow i find myself attracted to them bootz.

crop jacket crop jacket crop jacket love.

the bag and the floral tights!

the hair, the jacket, the boots, and the bag. what's there NOT to love about this? :D

bootz and blazers kick ass.

i love that top. like, seriously how can you not? oh and her hair too. :D

so greek!

floral dresses are divine!

love this look. so simple! :)

constance v. never fails to make me oogle.

plaids + vest + leggings + converse = feminine awesomeness. \m/

don't you just love the redness! ^_^

country love. :)

reminds me of that girl from our class for some reason, minus the blue dye in the hair. :P

bag and shoes. bag and shoes!

baggy clothes are love.

source: Look Book.

till then, have an awesome rest of the week! : )

The walk.

2010-04-06T19:22:00.005+08:00

marcel proust once wrote:

"we must never be afraid to go too far, for truth lies beyond."

it's about time to venture out. the safety zone will come back sooner or later. it's going to be a long journey and maybe sometimes you'll feel like breaking down and giving up - but at least 30 years from now you can look back and know that you've tried your best.

time to buck up and see where the road's taking us.

source: walking alone by mashat

A snippet to ponder.

2010-04-04T14:25:00.004+08:00

Envy is the religion of the mediocre. It comforts them, it responds to the worries that gnaw at them and finally it rots their souls, allowing them to justify their meanness and their greed until they believe these to be virtues. Such people are convinced that the doors of heaven will be opened only to poor wretches like themselves who go through life without leaving any trace but their threadbare attempts to belittle others and to exclude - and destroy if possible - those who, by the simple fact of their existence, show up their own poorness of spirit, mind and guts. Blessed be the one at whom the fools bark, because his soul will never belong to them.

- Zafon, CR 2009 "The Angel's Game", pg. 12 paragraph 1, Weidenfeld & Nicolson Publishing, London.

sometimes i forget how much vigor zafon has in his writing.

i miss reading. sometimes i wish that i hadn't had so many things to do that takes away all my precious reading time. i remember feeling the intensity while reading zafon and setterfield's work - the raw emotions, the suspense and the beauty of literary phrases all strung together in such a way that they keep me safe and intact in their world of imaginations.

and most of the time they make more sense of the world than i could ever imagine.

any suggestions on good books such as zafon's? so far i can never find any book to top his position in my list.

Maybe we could sleep in, making banana pancakes.

2010-04-02T22:37:00.015+08:00

first and foremost i'd like to thank those who have voted on my poll on the sidebar regarding the continuation of my blogging. thanks so much for the support loves, whoever you may be! : ) i have 3 readers who voted against my blogging though and usually that's the cue for me to stop, but somehow there are those who have been sweet enough to leave me a note in the Cbox to tell me to keep blogging.

a big huge thank you, to those who have cared. : )

there's still lots more time to vote - so keep them coming in if you want to read more. : )

university life is so much more stressful than i expected it to be. when the seniors said it's utterly suffocating, they weren't exaggerating! :O but i guess it's all the research, referencing and deadlines that make it unbearable - having to upload all the work on two different websites gets pretty frustrating at times. : \

owh well, guess that's just university life for us. to be honest though, we could probably do better without the procrastination (admit it, we all facebook too much!) but in a way it can't be helped anyway - we are human after all! :P

i've received a mail from wendy's the other day.

turned out that they sent over four coupons and a letter saying that i could redeem a free burger because i took part in their new burger tasting survey the other day. pretty awesome doncha think? : )

one free wendy's single Mushroom Melt Burger! :D

too bad that they only have it on the menu for a limit time though.

somehow fast food outlets don't seem that bad anymore. \=)

it was mark's birthday on the 20th, so meen and i decided to knock him down with a surprise at the stroke of midnight. we brought along cakes as well just to set in the mood. :D

needless to say he was rendered to tears with our affectionate gesture.

meen helping mark to light up candles.

guess who's twenty? :)

chillin' and eatin'.

on that same night, i attended my first concert ever...

... and who better to take away my concert virginity than Zee Avi? :D

the official zee avi concert in Kuala Lumpur!

the passes to see Z ah V.

needless to say that it was BREATHTAKING. zee avi was naturally wonderful, talented, funny, witty, gorgeous, and everything divine!! all her songs were beautifully presented and she was so relaxed with the crowd and interacting with them - it was an absolute experience!

and it left me in tears as well when she kept repeating how good it felt to be back home in Malaysia. when she thanked her dad and presented him with her record label on stage it was a moment to die for. i bit my lip and tried not to cry because it was such a touching moment.

i'm just glad that my first concert experience was an indie one. i wonder if she'll ever hold a concert in miri as well? she should imho. : )

i've been learning a dish or two from ols bawls recently.

the infamous peanut butter chicken.

and i didn't even know it goes well with spaghetti! :D

i think he just sparked the whole cooking craze again - and he makes it seem all so easy! peanut butter chicken was a blast, and chili chicken was refreshing. i'm tempted to make them and practice as much as i can.

michellious is back in the kitchen yo! B )

i'm probably going to have to move very soon since the School of Communication is moving to the new lakeside campus in may.

thing is, i don't even have a new place to stay yet. :( sigh.

this is turning to be quite a fuss, really. : \

officially going back for cousin jane's wedding in may,

seeing the lovely tiffo in june (please owh please let it be!!),

and

finally meeting up with one of the greatest friends i've ever made.

crazy hectic things to look forward to, i'd say. : )

Not because she tried to fight it.

2010-03-06T13:42:00.007+08:00

it's been wayyy too long since i've last done a blog post. my deepest apologies, my dear readers! i didn't mean to neglect my blog like this; i've never gone through a day without posting up at least 3 posts, but since last year and up til now, my lack of discipline to blog has proven to have gotten worse. :O but then again, i really can't find anything interesting to blog about anymore.

i've put up a poll at the sidebar asking people to vote, whether i should stick to blogging or just give up and so far only 2 have voted me to stop, but i'm going to make it official and say that if i get another vote for me to stop blogging (meaning if i get 3 votes out of the overall votes), i might just stop blogging towards the end of the year (or maybe even in june).

start sending in protests to my email if you wish to read more. :)

i finally got back to the over-populated land of KL on the 22nd. degree has been going on for the past week already. as much as i am excited about this, it's been stressing me out to no end. i have yet to figure out what Communication: Rhetoric & Reasoning and Communication, Science and Society are all about.

Effective Communication (a.k.a Performing Arts) seems pretty fun so far, but the one i'm more worried about is the Public Relations 1 classes. not only we have an absolutely impossible lecturer to begin with, i need the extra work. :S nevertheless, i'm trying to enjoy the subject at the same time because without it, it's just going to be impossible for me to get comfy with the subject.

we celebrated meen's 19th last sunday at alexis' in bangsar. it was pretty awesome: good food good company. :) i really love hanging out at alexis', even though it's slightly pricier than average. nonetheless, the food is fantastically good (as always) so it's worth every cent in my pocket.

i had the bread and butter pudding, in memory of the woman who first introduced it to me upon my first visit to alexis'. :) it's pretty filling, but it was orgasmic all the same. <3

all of us had a shot each (what's a birthday without shots eh? *winks*). this time it was kamikaze for everyone! to start off the new semester with. :)

cheer to a new year! :)

graffiti around the bangsar area. i found it kinda cute. hehe. :)

i've been out with the bunch quite frequently, but the more i do the more i keep worrying about my financial limitations. i've been thinking about picking up a job as well but then that would mean juggling between work and studying. i'm not sure if i'd want to risk my time like that. :S

hmm decisions decisions.

speaking of which, i spent the past two days with the Arabian Princess, running around and looking for things to bag. she was awesome enough to bring me out for a stroll or two. we talked about certain things and she took a whole bunch load of stuff off my chest. :) she brought me around her usual haunts as well so i could get away from my daily bleak activities.

that's how i found out that they finally have a shop at One U selling my favourite rock candy from australia! om nom nom nom nom! but too bad they're expensive though, would've gladly gotten myself a bottle to savour in. <3

it feels nostalgic to be here again and seeing everyone back in university, but i still miss home nonetheless. as much as i like being in KL with everything within reach, i still miss the quiet atmosphere and relaxing sensation back at home. the closely-knit community, the awesome *and affordable* food, the culture, the beaches, the familiarity.

and family.

how is it possible that i can still get homesick after a whole year of being away last year? *headdesk*

The last of the first.

2010-02-09T22:46:00.008+08:00

yessssssss it's a tuesdayyyyyy and i'm gladdddd!

this time it's not because it's *supposedly* my day off, but rather because i no longer have to work for the time being. YES I AM A FREE WOMAN : ) before i headed to sleep last night after my last day of work, i laid in bed thinking about how it's already been a month since i started working at the local supermarket. it's funny how time really flies. it felt like only yesterday grizzy dropped by at the supermarket and i remember telling her that it was my second day at work.

imma miss this place.

working at GK has given me one of the best experiences i'll ever get. i remembered having a really tough time at first because i had to get used to being nice to the customers who demanded (rather rudely) for plastic bags when we don't provide them; my heart wanted to please the customers but at the same time i had to go along with the boss's orders. and initially when i was set for cashier duty i didn't do as well as i hoped i would: i kept screwing up the prices, keying in the wrong labels and things. it was tough, but as time passed by and as i got more practice, it gradually became easier by the day.

people wondered why i chose to work at GK. to be honest i don't really mind where i worked at: work is still work no matter where it is. i actually fancy the idea of putting in a little extra muscle moving heavy boxes as compared to sitting in a posh and fully-air conditioned departmental store folding clothes. at least i'm moving around rather than being in one place and feeling bored most of the time.

with the various customers of different nationalities frequently patronizing the place, i'd say i wouldn't have gained any more experience if i worked anywhere else. it helped me learn a little bit more about different races and their culture; how diverse different nationalities can be, how they speak and act, and how their lifestyles are. it's amazing how much the media have stereotyped different races in so many ways, but i'm really glad i got to understand and adjust the stereotyped notions of the different races in my mind.

despite having to use up all my time working there, it feels odd no longer heading there to stand behind that counter, checking out groceries and packing stuff and pricing things and seeing my wonderful colleagues and the usual customers.

the colleagues and the usuals. i think those are the people whom i'm going to miss the most.

my colleagues: as much as i know that they do not fancy the idea of my decision to work at GK in the first place (personal reasons which i do not plan to disclose), most of them turn out to be great friends. in many ways they've shown me certain things that i've forgotten after living in the city for so long; they helped me realise that i've lost the bit of miri in myself. i am ashamed, but it's never too late to find myself again. if it weren't for these wonderful people, i wouldn't have been aware of my mistake.

and to the amazing customers whom i've grown to love:

the american uncle who would willingly drive over twice a day for his pack of Winstons,
the sweetest mr rice krispies,
the londoner indian lady who spoke to me of culture,
the british lady who loves sipping ginger tea every night,
the african aunty who took an interest in the course i'm about to take up in uni,
the malay aunty who works at the post office,
the japanese uncles who taught me how to say "you're welcome" in japanese,
the european lady who never tried japanese eel,
the nice aunty who thought i was the boss's daughter,
the chinese lady who loved discussing about the new books she read,
the australian uncle who told me about his first tattoo adventure when he was a wee lad of 13,
the dutch uncle who taught me spiced biscuits were called "speculaas" (and they are BEYOND ORGASMIC i swear),
mrs jaclyn who would always ask me for stacks of old newspaper for her cats,
the indian uncle from chennai who is just the sweetest and most caring customer ever,
the japanese couple who drive their newborn baby daughter to the supermarket at night just so she could fall asleep,
the old lecturer from england who teaches about gases and oils at Shell (and who is an adorable sweetheart),
a towering mrs kate the cougar,
the tattooed power-mother from britain and her equally tattooed openly-gay daughter,
the chinese aunty with impeccable english who taught me a thing or two about marscapone,
the sweet american lady with the injured back who spends most of the time at home,
the nice british lady who has adorable fashion sense and is really nice to me,
the numerous people from all walks of life who complimented on my english (i can't thank you enough)...

the list goes on.

and not the forget the three special customers whom i've made friends with: tanya b who is one of the nicest girl alive, oliver the blue-eyed wonder who loves apples and alexandra who has a huge cola light addiction and has a boyfriend of the same name (alex). : )

as much as i disliked putting up with all the shouting and fussy rants from my bosses and customers, all these different people have made it easier for me. that's why i could never refer to the word "hate" when it comes to talking about my job: because i don't hate it at all. sometimes when i get tired of my job a few times a week, these people walk right back into my life again and my day becomes a little bit more bearable for me.

my colleagues and customers told me not to forget about GK when i leave for uni. all i can say is: how can i forget? ;)

despite having ranted for a while on my facebook (i'm sure you might've seen), i'm going to miss working there and the thought of leaving these lovely people behind has left me heavy-hearted.

and how can you not love this farewell gift?

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i saw this on my trip in brunei but didn't have the heart to get it since it was rather expensive. the other day i was browsing Kenyalang and saw it on the shelves. immediately knicked him off of there so i could have him all to myself.

isn't he just the hottest thing alive? :P

the woman with good tastes said he's like a danny zuko. blew up his ego, she has. :P

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i know it's a little bit late to introduce the world to my new baby i got in december, but better late than never.

i think my baby is very hawt and she makes me feel sexy. ; )

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i saw these at Charles & Keith's. costs too much in brunei so i've decided to wait until i drag my ass back to KL and get these. they are so comfortable and so sexy to walk in.

i swear that my feminine side went from a 30% to a 70% the minute i placed my feet in these. :D sexiest things alive. might need these in another colour though.

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this reminds me of a certain mr midnight. i couldn't stop giggling at the sight of this. too cuteeee.

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what my sister decided to nickname me.

little did she know that the colours of the rainbow went better with me more than the nickname does. ;P

------------------------------------------------------------------

and my current addiction at the moment?

the big bang theory rawks my after-work entertainment. :)

busy busy busy day tomorrow. so many things to do from the break of dawn until the strike of midnight. i better brace myself for what's to come. more updates soon!! ;)

I smiled only because you told me to.

2010-01-29T10:00:00.005+08:00

i'd never thought i'd see the day, but it finally came. it's only day 1 but i woke up to the empty bed beside me and felt the cringing sadness that dwelt at the pit of my stomach.

but i smiled, because you told me to.

you were second in line but everyone knew you were much more like the first. you're always so strong and determined, responsible and straight-to-the-point, witty and highly intelligent; i fade in comparison. but that never bugged me, because i'm proud of you for always being so independent. you always placed your emotions at the back of your head and did things accordingly, and never once have you let anyone who trusted you down. you were expected of a lot of things, and yet you worked hard to achieve the impossible amount of expectations that were dumped upon you.

sometimes i wonder how you do it.

being a gemini baby, you could never run away from that dual personality which most geminis are born with. you may be tough and head-strong on the outside, but inside there's anoth part of you that i always saw; traits that are total opposites of what you displayed on the outside. you kept them to yourself for most of your life, but being your sister i knew what goes on behind that armor you wear to protect those around you, and also yourself.

but frankly, i admire you for that because i know it's not the easiest thing to choose betweeb what's best for every situation and also struggle with your conflicting emotions at the same time.

being the overly-excited sister in everything that you do.

i sometimes worry about the choices you make in life, but you always surprise me with how you dealt with things. i've always wanted to be there for you, wishing so hard to be that elder sister who never fails to be the aid in every sticky situation. i've always wanted to be the elder sister you could make an example out of and look up to. yet time and time again you've proven to me that you don't need me - you're growing up and i should let you. you were always the one who handled situations better, that's why everyone trusted your instincts and whatever actions you decide to take.

i think we're pretty close, even though you would argue with me that we're not exactly the "siamese-twins" type. but we did quite a lot of things together all the time back then and even though we're slowly tracing the steps of our separate lives as we grow older, that sisterly-bond would never end.

it only struck me how little time we've spent before you left, how caught up i was with work and how busy you were going around preparing for your departure and meeting up with your high-school friends. i feel sad somehow because i should've spent more time with you since i've already been absent from your life last year and i felt that i should've caught up with you more because goodness knows when i'll ever be able to see you again.

do you miss those times? sometimes i wish we were our younger selves once more, when our lives were less hectic and not filled with so many "adolescent problems". we never had to worry about anything when we were younger and it felt like the world could be ours for the taking if we willed it to.

but reality kicked in and both of us realised, in the process of growing up, that this is just how life is. we fought and struggled, and both of us broke out from our younger selves into who we were today. the struggles made us much stronger people, but rather you than me. i have always been the walking canvas of my own heart, and people took advantage of that. fortunately you handled things differently. i'd like to think that maybe you learned not to make yourself as vulnerable as i am when it comes to fighting your way through the journey of life. at least i can tell myself that my sister learned from my mistakes as well and have made her own life easier to get by.

but that didn't mean that you gave up being happy. despite all the heartaches and downfalls, you managed to rise above the rest and still stay as the happy-go-lucky person i've always known you are. you worked hard and you enjoyed the fruits of your results. when i couldn't be strong, you were there for me. i wish you could let me be your foundation when things get rough, but you've never depended on anyone - it's always been you against the world all the way. it was your policy: to have things done your way and by yourself. as much as i wish i could be there for you, there are no words in me to describe my pride in you and the strength that surpasses all.

you deserve every moment, j. because i know that you always did your best in everything and i truly believe that it's what you were meant for - to enjoy life because you're worth it all.

in any case, with everything thrown aside, you'll always be in my heart. i sometimes regret having supported the notion of having you sent so far away to study, but you had your future to take into consideration. and it's for the best. come back to us soon, because i won't stop missing you until you do.

i really hope you make it big over there. i want the best for you, and you deserve it more than anyone i know. and i want to thank you for every little thing you've done for me, even when sometimes i get too blind to appreciate it from the start.

i love you, j.

you'll always be the wonderful sister that no one can ever replace in my heart.

i'm still smiling,

and it's because you told me to. : )

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak.

2010-01-19T22:38:00.006+08:00

yayyyyy tuesdayyyy againnnnn.

off days are the shiznit. i'm beginning to dread work a lot (owh couldn't you tell? hehe...) but i gotta pull through somehow. some days are worse than most, but i can't just give up halfway. determination is something i'm trying to hone.

hung out with the sister for a bit today. we ran around getting necessary stuff for her to bring over before she leaves in a week's time. sometimes i really wish she wasn't leaving so soon but she didn't have a choice anyway. wish she didn't have to go so far though, but for her future it's for the best i suppose. :(

got myself a few things as well. made me feel a wee bit better already. shopping always cures a woman's heart ey? :P

a "hurley" print t-shirt.

saw this at Elise's for a 50% bargain so i immediately grabbed it off the rack. it had the word "hurley" printed all over which reminded me of one of my favourite actresses (can you guess?) so i couldn't resist. :)

the new bans.

these were on sale so i figured what the heck. always wanted to own a pair of real aviators so bagged this in just a minute after discovering it behind the display. :P the salesman was super nice as well. my sister found it weird that we were chatting on like life-long buddies even if we didn't know each other at all. lawl.

under-love. ;)

i've always always ALWAYS wanted a set of these for myself. usually they're pretty expensive but cotton shop and pierre cardin had this super awesome bargain going on so my mum said it was alright. got myself two pairs and i can't stop loving them ever since. :)

the people there got me confused though because one said i was a B and the other claimed i'm a C. does anyone happen to know how to determine the universal size of a woman's set of twins? i need a clarification here. hehe.

but my biggest pride of the day was seeing this on the rack and picking it out for myself. it fitted me perfectly. darn things made me feel so good about myself i purchased it in a blink.

and trust me, these aren't pants. ;)

a very productive day indeed. : )

-------------------------------------------------

i was sitting at the cashier counter the other night, being bored out of my wits just before closing time. i grabbed the shopping list that a customer left behind which had a lot of blank space left and started randomly scribbling and writing my thoughts onto it.

i don't know why i shoved the piece of paper in my pocket even when i wasn't really writing about things that made any sense at the time but i found it later on today and there was something on it that left me pondering for quite a bit.

sometimes certain things leave me too worn out to think clearly. most of the time i just feel like giving up. but there's just something inside of me that keeps pushing me to hold on. i'm not sure what it is that's motivating me, but i have a feeling that it may be something good. maybe someday i'll find out what it is, or who it is.

Sometimes she makes me smile so wide it hurts.

2010-01-18T00:30:00.008+08:00

the line was so packed and jammed it was almost unbearable. i was suffocating with the massive amount of goods dumped at the cashier table; at one point i almost couldn't breathe.

darn these people and their impatience, i thought.

then she dropped by. her big smile and petite frame; it wasn't hard to make out really. if i weren't so busy trying to please the customers, i would've remembered what colour t-shirt she was wearing. but i'm guessing it was purple(?). her smile shone through the crowd and for me it was enough to brighten up my mood just a little bit more. initially i thought she dropped by to buy something from the store, only to find that she was here to leave me a parcel.

i had my hands tied down with work so i couldn't react properly. i was stunned and surprised and happy and excited and confused at the same time. after everyone left i sat there holding the little paper bag that had a nylon ribbon tied at the top and my name scribbled in neat handwriting on the sticker below the ribbon.

i looked at it and i couldn't help but to feel the love. : )

as i reached home i eagerly opened it up, only to find just the cutest things waiting for me.

tissues for the OCD person, from one OCD to another.

whenever i see kleenex-es i get happy. hygiene's played quite a big part of my daily life so getting a fresh pack for my usual outings is pretty awesome. :D

inside: a letter-set and a handmade card.

she has just the most creative ways of making crafts, and her simplicity astounds me every single time. it makes me wish i still pursued my dreams of creating art, even when they weren't meant to be turned into my future as i hoped it could.

i opened and read her card, only to feel my heart getting tighter and tighter, being squeezed by so much of love. i haven't melted like that in a long time from just the warmth of getting a card with such thoughtful words in them.

i love letter sets. did you know that? : )

stickers! i have a thing for hedgehogs. : )

it's moments like these that made me realise that sometimes, out of all the shitty things you go through, life throws in a bit of a miracle for you.

thanks b. your little parcel really made my day for me. i couldn't love it any more than i already have at the moment.

..............................................

on a more different note,

my tumblr profile's up for the aids and cancer awareness campaign.

please join to support us. : )

Off days feel SO good.

2010-01-12T22:05:00.005+08:00

omg finallyyyyy. after 6 days of 9-hour agony - i am finally freeee. tuesdays are officially my off-days and i just get so excited when tuesdays are hereeeee.

thus all the long extra letters at the end of every word of every sentence. hehe.

my usual bumming-out area at the dining table. yes i love dr. pepper, and my new mousepad that i got from Galoop Taiwan, my new HP mouse and new wallet from Rip Curl. spot them! : )

but quite frankly, i STILL feel as if i don't have enough time to do EVERYTHING i want to do. i woke up planning to go online for a bit, deal with my degree application, get my book cover nicely drawn out, meet up with michelle the steetch for a bit and hand her her present, gymming, aqua aerobics with debbers and some time for the family at night.

but it turned out that i had to wait till tomorrow for the degree application, and i screwed up my book design and michelle was out. i sulked a bit because of my ruined masterpiece, and i didn't get to go for gym. *cries*

the little pictures.

i almost totally forgot about these. blazer pictures! i used to keep them in my old wallet when there was an extra pocket for these, but ever since i changed my wallet i had to keep these safe in my album.

can you find your own picture, chung-huarians? :P

old boxes.

i was going through some of my old stuff too which i've kept in boxes since i left for college in the Big City. i love that pang of nostalgia that brushes against my skin whenever i open a box and that first blast of air kisses my face. when i slowly go over every item in the boxes i just remember so many things that i've left along with the box.

it feels good. :)

took this video on my way to GCM for that aqua aerobics thing with debs. it occurred to me that there's one good thing about having a huge ass camera: you get to leave it on the car and film things. hehe!

i documented this journey while i was on my way to meet up with debs. had to give my college mates a little glimpse of miri too ey? hehe. couldn't see much since it wasn't at a very good angle, but i tried my best anyhoo. : )

just found this gem on youtube. the name's laura marling and she's got such a talent in indie music. i could just melt at the lyrics. so divine.

and can you believe that she's only my age? she's turning 20 this february. :D

...................................................

my clock says 11:58pm. just 2 minutes away from work days again. ugh life. hopefully i'll stop screwing it up. *crosses fingers*

Cashier Rant #1

2010-01-09T23:27:00.005+08:00

just to get a few things straight:

FRIDAYS SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS ARE "NO PLASTIC BAG" DAYS.

so please bring your own bags and stop threatening the cashiers about suing the company just because we no longer provide plastic bags as ORDERED by the city council.

thanks.

--------------------------------

today was beyond shitty. i don't even know where to start. i'm not going to complain, but my patience is running out. =(

but still, there are some things that are worth smiling about today: making a kid blush and smile, attending to a gorgeous and sweet woman by helping her check her things out (amongst other things :P) and saying "Thank You" in Tamil to this Indian guy when i gave him back his change. he was so amazed you should've seen him jump a little. said i was ready to be wed to another fellow indian already. LAWL.

Double-dutch on the concrete.

2010-01-07T23:31:00.012+08:00

sorry for the lack of posts recently. i haven't been blogging as frequently as i used to, have i? quite frankly i haven't had a lot of time on my hands. is it just me, or do you guys also find that as we grow older, our time shortens? when i was younger my days seemed pretty endless, but now it feels as if my days don't seem to last long enough for the amount of things i wish to do.

been to the hospital to visit the lyd and her newborn baby son.

after a year of waiting, finally the spawn has arrived. i think it was a sign that i "coincidentally" went to my cousin's facebook page and saw what lyd's brother petrus wrote on his wall. there i was, thinking the kid would only decide to pop out in february.

lyd hasn't changed a bit - still crazy, but funny at the same time. she couldn't stop poking at the kid's head and repeating "you know, i STILL can't believe that THIS came out of me." according to her, episiotomy's been a bitch. hahaha.

have you ever felt a newborn baby's skin? have you ever held them so close you could feel their heartbeat against your chest and you can't help but adore their sweet delicate scent that all babies seem to have? it's one of the best experiences i've ever had, holding a child like that for what seemed like forever. i have never held a newborn baby for such a long time in my life, but ms lydia was nice enough to let me. i only got to hold him in between intervals (had to share it with griselda) but when i had him in crook of my arm it felt as if time stopped right there and then. all i could do was swoon over the child because he was so sweet and tiny and adorable. he was so tender and so fragile in my arms, my heart was smothered all over with fear and love. when he squeezed my thumb, it was as if he squeezed my heart as well. it was the best feeling in the world.

i swear, he was so cute i could just eat him up!

okay that last sentence wasn't really appropriate.

it was pretty hard for me to believe as well, because i could still remember ms lydia first transferring into our school, then she became my english teacher, and then our drama teacher. now she's a freakin' mom. i pity the kid (if you met the parents, you'd know HARHAR) but then again i envy him. having ms lydia as a mother is like having a comic relief everyday. only the Lord knows what else that woman has up her sleeves. LAWL

i've been catching up on some reading as well. am reading "middlesex" for the second time and it's still awesome. it's one of those books where i wish i could just lick my fingers after every read because they're just so juicy (figuratively speaking).

and i heard it's going to be shot as an HBO original series too. BOOYAH! a must watch on the list. :D

another movie that i have to watch as well. i first knew about this from a tiny friend (^_^) but Midnight triggered the passion for it altogether so now it's on my list of "to-watch" movies.

i'm thinking movie night with the rest when i get back. : )

i've been extra busy for the past couple of days (and will be as well for the next 30 days to come), mainly because i *finally* found me some work. :D

working at a supermarket wasn't as easy as i've imagined it to be. packing groceries was hard for the first 15 minutes of the job. but being a cashier was even more difficult. nevertheless, my passion still stays the same. whenever i see groceries in a store, all nicely packed and neatly arranged, i feel like a glowing preggo lady.

some of my friends still find it odd why i chose the grocery job over the nursery teacher offer. a few even gave me looks when i told them. a couple of my old friend bumped into me while shopping when i was on the job and they were literally shocked when they saw me bagging their groceries for them (they thought i was shopping as well). they tried to be polite and all, asking me what i was doing there (as if bagging their groceries wasn't obvious enough already) but i knew they didn't fancy the idea.

well, a kid's gotta start somewhere. it doesn't have to be the best job in the world, as long as i'm passionate about it i suppose. i've always loved this local supermarket, even if it's ancient (been there before my time). nailing this job has been one of my biggest achievements yet. : )

i'm still trying to settle in with the thought that it's already 2010. it's such a pretty number, sometimes i find it hard to believe. XD

i finalized my resolutions for the year. i didn't want the whole "1. Be good; 2. Be humble; 3. Smile lots." kind of thing so i edited it (for the umpteenth time) until i was happy with it.

one of the things on the list is to stop my blogging days. i have certain reasons why, and a friend helped me realise that. but the poll's still up for votes. readers' comments and votes are just as crucial. : )

---------------------------------------------------

this motivates me in so many ways, i can even hear it being narrated in my head by the voices of the different people i love (just for kicks because i'm neurotic like that).

so in love with marilyn i could just tattoo her name across my toosh.

Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical.

2010-01-05T21:33:00.002+08:00

it's been poking at me recently, how my younger friends are taking their turns graduating and leaving for college and university now. it's amazing sometimes when i look at them and think "wow, it's your turn now."

they grow up so fast,

sometimes i don't even know where to begin.

i've been thinking about a few things, one of them being my friends who are already studying or are going to study overseas. CharT, griz, deaney, tiffo, alene, derek, kerrie... and very soon it'll be michelle, my sister jo and kurt's turn.

sometimes i think about it, and it hurts somewhere deep down inside. there's just that heavy weight that gathers at the edge of my heart and tugs at it, making it difficult for me at certain moments. do you get that? or maybe i'm just being too clingy. *shrugs*

it's kurtie's turn tomorrow, joining his big sister CharT in English-Land on his journey to adulthood (exaggerating much? LOL). another one off for a ride, and another two to go.

missing people is hard.

A Twenty and A Ten.

2010-01-01T22:51:00.008+08:00

another year has passed and another one has arrived.

it's funny how my 2009 came and left in such a hurry. going through it seemed like a very long time, but once the time is up, it all appeared to be ending a little too fast for me. nonetheless, 2009 proved to be one of the biggest turning points for me yet. i haven't been through as much in the 18 years of my life as i had done so in 2009. so many different people, so many different experiences. it really is an eye-opener for me. i have loved and lost as i did every year, but 2009 definitely took everything to a higher level. i had to let go of my home and step out into a world where protection only came in the form of my own soul, and also with the help of a few of my friends who stuck with me on my journey. i have met people and made friends, and we have shared countless of things with each other which i know will bond us for a lifetime.

when i was 18 i thought that i was ready for the life-long journey that awaited my embarkation, only to find myself facing what seemed to be the beginning of it all, a minor little test-run of the things that are soon to come. fear is an inevitable thing; everyone will embrace it at some point in their lives. some experience it more than others, but sooner or later all of us would savour the sweet taste of bravery that licks at our lips and releases us of our fears, one at a time.

well loves, it's finally 2010.

the year of which my first beverage was also my first shot. ;P

the year i start my degree.

the year i begin bracing myself for more challenges to come.

the year that i'll embark on that trip i've been planning to do.

the year i begin to take on work experiences.

the year i turn twenty.

and the year in which i will start from scratch, first by getting my old self back.

currently checking the new year's resolution list now, making sure that i have everything right. have you written yours yet? : )

hello, eloise!

2009-12-28T10:36:00.002+08:00

i love love love LOVE this show as a child.

and i still do. <3

Watch the rain play on the ocean top.

2009-12-26T00:17:00.008+08:00

after what seemed like a long time, i'm back on the road once again with the steering wheel in my hands and the whole world in a fast-motion blur behind the windows.

the moments spent with siying tonight was a good one. i haven't seen her for almost a year now and we caught up on a lot of things. we shared stories and laughed like how we used to; it felt really good. that's one of the things i love about catching up with long-lost loved ones: you'll never know what stories they have up their sleeves. : )

....................................

it's only been a week but being back here has got me thinking about so many things. thoughts perpetually raced through my mind and they haven't stopped since. i have yet to meet up with the rest of the lovelies and i keep thinking there's not enough time for everyone, even when i still have until february. i guess it just feels that way, not because i don't have enough time in the world but rather what's left of 2009. time passes us by so fast; it feels like only yesterday my high school friends and i were waiting for the dawn on 2009 to arrive, camwhoring at the carpark in marriott hotel during our last seconds of 2008 together.

and yet, look at all of us now: we've survived another year of college.

it struck me as amazing how a year had gone by and changed so many things. i come back home now and i sit down with everyone else at the table, each and every one of us sharing our own stories that no longer consisted of old friends but rather the new ones. most of us have changed, trying to catch up with the current life that's pushing us to a better future. life takes away certain things, but places them with new ones.

it's something that i've learnt about growing up: people leave, and they move on. sometimes it's not the best feeling in the world, knowing that once we had been inseparable, connected... and now all of us have our own lives to live. debbers said it's something that we have to come to terms with - letting go of old friends so that they find their own ways in life, even if it meant hurting inside and feeling left out, going against what used to be.

but then again, without the separation we won't be able to experience that warmth that embraces you when catching-up with friends. it feels so good: a kind of adrenaline rush that you get when you sit down yourselves down and hear so many different stories about each others' lives, then comparing it to the past and laughing at ourselves and the things we've done together. it's amazing.

....................................

i drove at 120, with the windows turned down and the wind running its delicate fingers through my hair. i can't remember the last time i ever felt like this, so free and liberated as if there was nothing in the world that could stop me.

it's one of the things i love about returning home. it's like being back in my very own one tree hill. the feelings were familiar; the places, the people. every corner lingered with a memory just waiting to be discovered again. i felt at ease with the familiar faces, even though it's not always smooth sailing. my family is here, my memories are here. my heart will always be here.

but people move out and move on, i suppose. people always leave.

it's christmas, and i couldn't help but think about him for the past few days. he was my first christmas memory, as all the rest seemed vague and fade in comparison. but what's left of us is no longer worth anything but a mere retention in my mind and an emotion in my heart. however, he had once been in my life nonetheless, and for that he will always occupy that space in my heart. and i still miss him.

i drove on towards home, with jimmy eats world in the player.

"Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it gets easy
You can't keep safe what what's to break."

i think of her, and i smile. memories of us are still intact - as vivid in my mind as the feel of the keyboard that i am now typing underneath my fingertips. people have always awed at our friendship; how it was formed under such a short period of time but have remained so solid through these years even though we're two worlds apart. this has always been our song, and i'll always count down the days until we see each other again.

maybe next summer ey, tiffo? : )

it's been a long year, 2009. but why do i feel like i want it to last forever?

Christmas day...

2009-12-25T11:05:00.001+08:00

... is about loving and feeling loved. :D

December never felt so wrong, 'cause you're not where you belong - inside my arms.

2009-12-24T22:33:00.002+08:00

currently crooning The Hotel Cafe Winter Songs on the playlist.

have a merry christmas, everyone. may all your wishes come true in the new year to come. : )

Resisting.

2009-12-20T22:31:00.006+08:00

i've never liked numbers. ascending, descending.

the way it grows from a miniscule nothing of a zero to an infinite number made up of a lot of zeros.

the way it defines the amount of money, and people using it to measure up their wealth.

the way it turns up in a mathematical equation.

the way it is used as an identification in prison.

the way it presents itself, so vast and neverending.

the way it shows how much time has passed.

and the way it shows how many days one has left to live.

翻! Taiwan, Pt. 3 of 3.

2009-12-20T14:40:00.021+08:00

the last post of my visit to taiwan - here goes! : )

the beautiful scenery taken from one of the visiting sites at 阳明山Yang-Ming Mountain. we wanted to go for the hot springs there and i couldn't bring my camera along for the trip. : ( the scenery there was to DIE for. i wanted to scream so badly because it was so breath-taking up there but i haven't gotten any cameras to take pictures of.

my first MOS burger meal!

i've always wanted to try their burgers as they have the burger where their buns are made out of organic rice. : ) it's not the cheapest thing to have (my meal was NTD148 which converted would amount up to about RM14.80) but i bought it for the sake of trying.

their simple designs are what i like best. : )

mine was pork chop and curry in the organic rice bun. i love. : )

the designs on the beverages. *squeals*

then we headed down for a trip to 九份Jiu-Fen, one of the famous tourist spots because it overlooks the whole of Taipei.

i love these little rice dumplings sold at 7-Eleven. : )

grandma and grandpa Pan's place.

we went to visit one of the temples there. it was SO.BIG. but so divine. :D

it's so fairytale-like, don't you think?

this is almost beyond beauty. :D

maple leaf! <3

i was trying to take a picture but suddenly cousin jason jumped to take a picture...

... of this leetle spider. : )

my photography did not do this justice i swear. the mixture of red, orange and green will blow your mind. : )

we climbed all the way up here just for the pictures hehe. : )

the next morning cousin m and my sister decided to sleep in while cousin jason, aunt tracy and i brought the bikes up and went for a long ride.

the beautiful scenery we have when cycling alone the river.

taking a break halfway through.

we had to go through these little plots of farming lands and it was awesome. the plantations were green and beautiful, the sun was shining (not my favourite thing in the world but a little sweating will do me good), and the air was fresh. sometimes we would ride by spring onion and chive farms and the breeze would be filled with their scent.

staccato-ed with hints of manure, nonetheless. haha.

not long afterwards, we reached the top of the hill where the little temple was, along with some really old shops that sold trinkets and such. we had breakfast there and also some shaved ice and red bean. : )

one of the old shops there.

on your left we have chives and on your right we have spring onions. : )

the happiest sight of nature ever.

i think that if people were to wake up in the mornings and have this view presented to them everyday, the world would be a happier place.

daisies were abundant as well. i couldn't help loving them. : )

duckies lounging beside the computer in the study room at 三峡San-Xia.

i spent my last few days here briefly roaming around with the rest or sometimes by myself. i was slightly sad because i didn't set out and adventure on my own during my first week when i had loads of time. i only managed to venture out during my last two days in taiwan and i found this really cute place just around the corner from my aunt's place in taipei.

my favourite diner in taiwan: Shih's Bagels.

my first breakfast set at shih's.

in 1995 mr. shih first arrived in america and had his first bagel, but after coming back to taiwan he couldn't find any around the city so he decided to look up for information about bagels. that was when his journey of bagels began. finally, in 2007, shih's bagels established its first main store situated right there where i had my first bagel breakfast set.

mr. shih also made cream cheese of 6 flavours, ranging from sweet to sour, to suit the customer's choices (standing at NTD45/RM4.50 per tub of 50g).

he also has his own homemade caramel creme pudding (standing at NTD40/RM4 per tub or 3 tubs for NTD100/RM10).

homemade yogurt is also available for the same price as the caramel pudding.

homemade pasta sauce is also available @ NTD180/RM18 per 170ml.

shih's bagels famous marmalade is really nice as well. it's not too sweet and contains no perservatives, just right for those who love the natural taste of fruit on their bread (standing at NTD220/RM20 per 170ml).

mr. shih's 11 flavour bagels, standing at NTD45/RM4.50 each: green tea, olive basil, blueberry, cinnamon raisin, sesame, wholewheat, plain, earl grey, garlic, onion and cheese(NTD55/RM5.50).

if you want something more filling, there's also the breakfast set menus to choose from. they're all freshly made upon order and they taste super good. :D

the interior of shih's bagels is homey and comfortable, giving its customers a welcoming hug everytime they take their first step into the place.

the nice little table top area. my favourite spot is the first working lamp from the left, where i usually have a bagel and apple juice and do my usual people-watching. : )

the little notes that satisfied customers have left on the walls in the shop. : )

my second breakfast set at shih's.

i think one of the things that i'll miss the most is the little shops they have in the area. at every turn and every corner of those little old apartments there would be a little cosy shop tucked away somewhere, just waiting for people to discover them and claim it their own little space to hang out and relax.

galoop, a clothing/lifestyle store that's situated right below my aunt's place.

"more & more" lunch bar.

cafe bastille, the belgium beer place right beside more & more lunch bar.

odeon bar and bistro.

asha brunch house right across the road from shih's bagels.

the view from the plane during our flight back.

in a nutshell, my visit to taiwan was great. good food, fun people, seeing new things, experiences. i've seen a few things and learned some more. i'm grateful beyond words to say the least. my heart felt heavy when i had to leave. i miss quite a lot of things.

i miss the cool weather that kisses my face and leaving it cold and nice.

i miss the little secluded shops that are always so cosy and makes me feel safe when i'm there.

i miss eslite bookstore that's just around the corner whenever i feel like getting away.

i miss the CD stores in which i've spent hours alone just trying out new indie music albums.

i miss shih's bagels.

i miss walking along the streets without having to worry that someone from nowhere will steal my bag or what-not *coughmalaysiacough*.

i miss visiting the 7-eleven stores and family marts just to roam around the isles and looking at products on the shelves.

i miss taking the super clean and super punctual metro.

i miss the beautiful scenery and flowers and clean pavements.

i miss how hospitable the people in taiwan is.

i miss the street food.

and i miss tiff.

taiwan was good. really good. it's been 13 years since i've been there, and i had finally set foot there again. i wonder when'll be the next?

翻! Taiwan, Pt. 2 of 3.

2009-12-20T11:54:00.008+08:00

during the first weekend there, we headed down to 三峡San-Xia to visit Grandpa and Grandma Pan. we stayed at uncle and aunt's apartment in 三峡San-Xia for a couple of days while we were there.

远雄森林公园Yuan-Xiong-Sen-Lin Park, situated ride beside their apartment.

funky art statues at the nearby 三峡San-Xia Museum.

a beautiful pathway leading to 北大BeiDa University.

透视新三峡 ("tou-shi-xin-san-xia", translated as "looking at a new San-Xia"), the nearby museum.

远雄海洋公园Yuan-Xiong Water Garden, just a 5 minute walk away.

little bears in a glass display in the park, interestingly.

i have this utmost amazement when i saw their art and designs. creative. : )

uncle sam's american school.

fun fact: taiwan education is linked with that of america's whereas malaysia's is linked to the brits. : )

at 北大BeiDa University campus.

people are welcome to visit it anytime and it's got a really vast area. there aren't a lot of students there so it wasn't crowded; it was just right. : ) it was really nice just to walk around and take in all the scenery. really calming as well.

another dog we met on our walk in the campus. her name was dorothy. : ) too bad birdie was being hostile. hahaha.

michellious running uphill ftw. I LOVE WIDE OPEN SPACES THANK YOU. freedom is ridiculously good.

kick it.

at the lakeside.

drakes! : )

i spy with my little eye: A PROTON SAVVY. :D malaysia memang boleh. hahaha.

we headed down to 新竹Hsin-Chu for breakfast and lunch too. i got a little dreamy at the time because i was thinking about tiffo the whole time. i miss tiff. what's really coincidental was that on the day that i leave, she arrives back to Taiwan. coincidental much?

breakfast at 新竹Hsin-Chu's open market.

新竹Hsin-Chu's 蚵仔煎 ("ke-zai-jian" or "o-a-jian" in taiwanese language, translated to fried oysters).

famous 新竹红苕包子Hsin-Chu's Herbal Buns.

they have an interesting way of making it. : )

in 新竹Hsin-Chu. i wonder if tiffo remembers this. : )

natural water from underground.

then we headed up the mountains to visit the cold springs at 北埔冷泉Bei-Pu Cold Springs.

tadpolez.

then it was lunch at an old Hakka Restaurant.

moving on, we headed downhill and went to visit one of the orange farms to pick oranges. : )

a super huge vegetable. LOL

played a lot of mahjong to kill time while we were there. tiffo's mum and dad came to visit. : ))))

the mahjong king!! : )

one of my sister and my favourite drinks: Super XXLs from Family Mart! : ) they're these 750ml tea drinks that taste AWESOMEEEE. sister prefers the jasmine green tea while i am addicted to the lemon red tea. : ) for only NTD25 per bottle (around RM2.50), it's a really good buy. : D

the row of aparments.

the place is really really nice and comfortable. and one individual apartment has 5 storeys. :O

upon entering the front door, to the left are a flight of stairs that lead down to the basement where garage is...

... and in our case, where birdie lives. hehe.

let's move to the topmost floor and work our way downwards, shall we? : )

the veranda-cum-balcony on the topmost floor.

right inside is the lounge area.

overlooking the little park and streets.

on the fourth floor is where i stayed. this is my room. had the bed all to myself. : )

near the foot of the bed is my very own area where i can write things and read my book. i love how it's just all white and clean. : )

my sister and cousin julia's room on the third floor.

the computer and study room, also on the third floor.

the pull-out chair in the study room. cousin julia and my sister stayed here during our first night here.

the master bedroom on the second floor.

their bathroom.

first floor: kitchen and dinning area.

back to the boys room in the fourth floor, right next to mine.

and the elevator. this needs no introduction eh? hehe.

after the weekend we left for Taipei again. the first morning of the second week we headed to the zoo. : )

breakfast. : )

at the zoo! : )

the malaysian tapir!

... and the monkey that lives with it. LOL

sarawakian pride! : )

i'm a sucker for beautiful flowers, and taiwan has a crazy amount of it. ooooh LOVE. : D

at the butterfly farm! : )

on our way back after the zoo trip.

part two is done! moving on to the last post of my visit. bear with me! : )

翻! Taiwan, Pt. 1 of 3.

2009-12-19T21:59:00.070+08:00

finally, the first post of my visit is done! i spent the night up uploading the first batch of pictures until 4am this morning but realised that there were too many so i had to split it into two batches AGAIN. there were too many in one go and my editor was starting to lag so i had to divide the post again. haha.

i almost wanted to go full throttle and add in all the captions and HTML editing as well but my eyes were killing me so i had to give in and sleep. only managed to finish this earlier so here it is, my first batch of photos from taiwan. : )

air asia's international flights got an upgrade: touch screen tablets to kill the boredom.

unfortunately we had to pay extra just to watch movies or play games on the thing (typical airasia), so we could only use the chatting system as it's the only application which we were free to use.

spent most of my time chatting with random people on the flight.

made new friends in the form of a brother and sister duo named louis and fiona. :)

cousin jason's chatroom "are we there yetttt" got the highest number of chatters. LOL

after four hours, we landed safely in Taiwan.

upon reaching the republic of china! : )

fun fact: the international airport is not situated in Taipei even though it is Taiwan's capital city. the international airport is situated in 桃园Tao-Yuan, just a 30-35 minutes drive away from Taipei. unlike Malaysia, Taiwan does not have states or divisions as the country is very small. instead, they have cities. : )

the first thing we had when we reached our aunt's place: 胡椒饼 ("hu-jiao-bing", translated as "pepper biscuits".)

don't let the name fool you; these mouthwatering roasted buns are to die for, with it's juicy succulent meat wrapped inside a deliciously crunchy outer shell. YUM.

pic taken from across the road from our aunt's apartment.

had dinner at this korean grill restaurant.

buffet style summore; an all you can eat!

we took a walk at the nearby park after dinner.

moving on to our next attempt: 臭豆腐 ("chou-dou-fu", a.k.a stinky tofu)

sister digging into the 蚵仔面线 ("ke-zai-mian-xian" or in the taiwanese language "o-a-mi-soa": taiwan's famous street food oyster noodles).

but cousin jason can't wait to dig into....

the famous 臭豆腐 ("chou-dou-fu", translated as stinky tofu)!

which was gone in about 5-7 minutes. :P

it was my first time trying out stinky tofu and to be honest it didn't smell as revolting as people have described it to be. it actually smells kindda mouthwatering, but that's only my take on it. however, it wasn't AS tasty as people said it was either. maybe it's because the ones i've had wasn't stinky enough. as they say, the smellier it is, the tastier it is as well.

taiwan underground tunnels.

way clean, no? i'd rather have these than the zebra crossing.

诚品书店 Eslite Bookstore, situated just 2 minutes away from my aunt's place.

whenever my aunt comes to malaysia for a visit she'd get me a book from Eslite's and it's always good. i can spend my whole day here at this 4-floor bookstore and not get sick of it.

on our way to the metro heading to 西门町Xi-Men-Ding, one of taiwan's biggest shopping paradises. here we are, passing by the University of Taipei on the left and the rows of bicycles parked outside.

3-storey Starbucks. i think miri needs one as well, or maybe even KL for that matter.

taiwan metro ticket! i prefer these little coins over the paper ones we have in malaysia. save the trees yo!

a brunch of chinese dim sum.

this cheesy-milky dish with veges at the bottom, drowned in creamy goodness is exquisitely odd but tasty.

xmas decorations at 西门町Xi-Men-Ding.

grilled "moa-zi-sao" (dunno how to spell it in chinese hehe), dipped in black sesame sauce omg yummmm. :D

*trained* dogs are EVERYWHERE in taiwan. the people there love their dogs to such an extent sometimes, it's amazing. :O

here is one prominent proof of taiwanese and their love for their dogs: 阿毛石锅燉饭 ("ah-mao-shi-guo-dun-fan"), a restaurant selling risotto cooked in stone bowls. the owner named the place after his Golden Retriever Ah-Mao. even the logo had his face on it. :)

a sleepy Ah-Mao, the mascot sleeping outside the restaurant. haha.

oddly they sell these mechanical bicycle-riding pandas everywhere.

taiwan beer, anyone? :D

at the metro, heading home.

I GOT MYSELF A LOCO-ROCO WHOO WTF! :D i love asian gatchapons. spent RM15 on the numberous gatchapons i got. :P

i love their super clean, super coordinated and super on-the-dot metro.

birdie, the family pooch.

taking turns at the computer (sadly). haha. XD

if i ain't out roaming, i'm in watching Cooking Master Boy and Spongebob Squarepants on teevee. : )

taiwan famous 蚵仔煎 ("ke-zai-jian" or "o-a-jian" in taiwanese language, translated to fried oysters).

i kindda love it because of the sauce that gives it a distinctive taste. rather different from the ones in malaysia, although i love both just as much.

the uber delicious 花枝丸汤 ("hua-zi-yuan"), a fancy name for handmade squid/octopus balls in soy sauce soup with vinegar and herbs. YUM.

super huge takoyaki balls.

milk tea shops are abundant in taiwan. i noticed that people usually don't order drinks for dinner (if they do it's only chinese tea). after dinner they head out to these shops and get themselves a beverage from the menu listing about 30-50 different tea drinks.

the third morning - a simple breakfast at 丹堤咖啡Dante's Coffee House.

i wish they had more little breakfast places like these in malaysia. it's so clean and homey and nice. food's good too. :)

the hot dog people...

...while i had my bagelzzzzzzzzzzzz. *LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE*

i have an unexplainable love for bagels.

gimme one and i'm good to go for the day. : )

walking past the museum of drinking water while heading to the pier.

rented bikes to ride down from 台北Taipei to 淡水Dan-Shui.

unfortunately the little one fell of the bike and got a bump on her head on the way there.

aunt was oddly calm though. haha.

upon arriving at 大稻埕码头Da-Dao-Cheng Wharf near 淡水Dan-Shui.

hunting for more food.

米苔目 ("mi-tai-mu", no exact translation but they're flour made into short noodles). in malaysia we call this 老鼠粉 ("lao-shu-fen", meaning rat's flour; because of its resemblance to a rat's tail).

taking the train to 淡水Dan-Shui to pick up cousin julia at her university.

淡水Dan-Shui is famous for it's riverside view. most people hang around here to watch the sunset and have their famous local delicacies.

one of which is the layered ice-cream. only NTD10 (around RM1) for a pop.

tasty handmade meatbuns. the steam fogged up my lens. LOL

cousin julia's 淡江大学TamKang University. it's really huge and the scenery is beautiful there. fun fact: it is one of the favourite spots for films and most famous taiwan celebrities study here, i.e the currently famous taiwanese musician 卢广仲. don't let his appearance fool you, coz he is a musical genius and his ads are EVERYWHERE in taiwan. :)

淡水Dan-Shui at night.

taking the train back home with cousin julia.

awesome porridge for supper. : )

the following morning we had some really awesome shabu-shabu, then we were off to...

... 台北地下街 Taipei's Underground Shopping Mall.

the place is so insanely clean, i secretly wanted to just roll around on the ground. (not so much of a secret now innit hehe)

at the main bus station.

that night we had dinner at 小蒙牛Little Mongolian, a mongolian style hotpot buffet place.

we ordered the 鹰鸯火锅 ("ying-yang-huo-guo"), a combination of herbal chicken soup and herbal spicy soup.

taiwan is famous for its odd foods, especially coagulated pig/duck's blood and, of course, stinky tofu.

cousin michael, satisfied with his platter. : )

he was too full to even move.

the spicy soup was SUPER SUPER spicy, even cousin jason had to take this much of drinks just to tone down the heat.

my evil pink rabbit.

cousin julia, having brunch with us at Yoshinoya.

the freaky little one.

my beef bowl OMG MY BEEF BOWL YUMMMMMM.

cousin j and m's chicken and beef bowl.

taipei university, just across the street from their place.

eslite bookstore YAY. : )

aunt tracy, all posing.

in the car, heading towards Taipei 101.

the chinese version of new york. haha.

Taipei 101 from afar. situated before it is Taiwan's World Trade Centre.

waiting as her mum backs up the car.

Taipei 101. : )

jason's market place, the second favourite place to head to on my list of supermarkets. : ) unfortunately i couldn't take any photos of the shops and restaurants while in 101.

but when i saw THIS, i couldn't help myself. had to sneakily do it too.

did you know that alcohol in taiwan is super cheap? these limited rock edition absolut vodkas would cost a bomb in malaysia. but here - it's NTD490 per pop (about RM49).

CHEAP CAN!?

so technically i couldn't help myself...

...but to get a bottle for my mother. : )

so sexyyyyy. *LOVE*

on our way across the overhead bridge to the mall next to Taipei 101 called 纽约纽约New York New York.

the faux Statue of Liberty.

part one is done! stay tuned if you want more taiwanese goodness. ; )

It's been way too long.

2009-12-18T14:24:00.003+08:00

after a long journey, i am finally back home.

apparently my blog has grown a weed barn and what-not since my departure on the 30th, but now since i'm back i've gotten enough rest to continue posting on my blog again! finally got back from taiwan the night before and is safely home in miri. i would've loved to start blogging about my stay right away but there are about 200++ pictures to go through and edit so bear with me for a while.

nevertheless, it feels good to be home after 5 months. : )

If we never get down, it wouldn't be a let down.

2009-11-29T00:01:00.008+08:00

she arrived.

bringing miko to the pier for a morning walk.

freaks come in many forms - like so.

walking along the pier.

cousin jason tagged along as well.

towards her first klang bak kut teh experience.

after the wedding dinner.

forced to camwhore.

she arrived last night and from that second she stepped off of that plane i had been running around trying to be the elder sister that i'm supposed to be. at first i thought it could be easier since the 'rents have been telling me how much she's changed over the months - but i guess they've been exaggerating. or maybe it's because i've changed as well. i haven't been labelled "uptight" in all my life until she called me that earlier (sibling disagreements, unpreventable). i guess responsibilities and time really do change a person.

doing last minute checking on luggage and planning about what necessities to get when i go for one final round at The Pyramid tomorrow. hopefully i'll get something nice then. wardrobe = DISASTER. i need a makeover pronto. (>_<)

this may be the last post i'll be writing before heading off to taiwan for a couple of weeks. my heart's feeling the weight now; all of the sudden everything is crashing down on me in a flash. hopefully i'll get a few minutes of freedom on the internet over at my aunt's place during my stay. don't get freaked out if you see a foreign number calling you. ; )

i'm going to miss a lot of people. gosh if only they knew how much.

Salad rush.

2009-11-27T13:04:00.008+08:00

a big bear in the middle of the doorway.

their couple-rumble is something i have yet to understand. LOL

@ BKT's:

he screamed "CARRR!!"

@ alexis':

the yummiest bread and rice pudding on earrrrth.

caught the second twilight saga with a few of them at GSC Signature @ The Garden's yesterday. movie was a big flop as compared to the first one, but strangely after phillers explained the continuing story that's to come in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn i am tempted to find out more. :O new moon wasn't that awesome, but at least i found my favourite cinema to hang out at. The Gardens never fails. :D

do you see what i see? found my red checkered shirt on LookBook! ;)

sister's arrival is in less than 12 hours and i can barely breathe. *excited* since mr. midnight stuffed me with ONE AND A HALF CARL'S JR BURGERS, i'm strictly going vegan for these few days until i reach taiwan. just had a garden salad and it tastes yum. :D however i AM craving for that bread and rice pudding from alexis'. pickles feeds on the best food everrrr.

Of chocolate talks and strawberry laughters.

2009-11-25T23:43:00.007+08:00

originally wanted to head out for 2012 with my skeenee beetch, but turned out that we were too late and there weren't any available seats at the time so we ended up roaming One U (apparently the biggest mall the the whole of malaysia i was informed) instead. it was pretty disappointing that we didn't get to watch 2012 but i had a good time browsing through shops and spending time with skeenee beetch, the arabian princess and my mr. midnight.

i'm really going to miss them bucket-loads when i go back. : (

currently trying to make a list of the stuff i need to pack into my luggage without getting worked up. i'm so tired right now i feel like falling into bed and just running away to dreamland. nighters people! i'm crossing my fingers for the movie outing tomorrow and one more dinner party with the friends before heading off for the adventure.

Hands are itching

2009-11-25T04:32:00.002+08:00

to play this once again. HAHA

Take my breath as your own.

2009-11-25T03:45:00.008+08:00

sometimes i wonder why memories are the things that they are. what makes them matter so much? what is it about them that causes us to be so attached? is it the way they ignite our emotions with such a passion that we feel loved inside? or is the the way that memories live within us so that when we look back at them during dark times, we feel the hope that was once there and we feel loved once again? i'm not sure, but i wish i knew.

the way they smile at me; the way her eye twinkles when i lend a helping hand; the way he punches my arm; the way she likes to tell me the little things that make her laugh; the way he would open so easily to me as though we were the only ones in the universe; the way she looks at me and smiles as if i were the only thing that mattered; the way he gazes at me with all sincerity even though he speaks nothing of it; the way they laugh and accept my flaws; the way he would take care of me; the way she loves me with all her heart even though she knows it's never enough; the way they held me when i felt that there was nothing left in the world anymore; the way he hangs on to her as if she were his lifeline; the way she looks at him with all admiration; the way they tell me little funny things; the way she would hug me and tell me everything will be okay; the way we braced ourselves against the waves as if there was nothing that could break us.

have you ever felt it? that strong emotion that claims for itself no name but contains within its soul this profound intensity that surpasses all?

the days are running and i am trying so hard to keep up while catching my breath at the same time. the end of the year is just around the corner and i am sitting here breathing, letting the spaces engulf me in its silence and all its glory. life is such a funny thing, you know? it resembles the shores of the beach in my opinion. sometimes you wander around for a long time, wondering what the hell you're placed here for; just walking and waiting for something great to happen. then out of the blue everything comes rushing towards you like a wave and charging right at you and knocking you off your feet, dragging you deep within the depths of the ocean blues. you're sucked into this whirlpool of madness and you try so hard to swim against the tides but there's no use. the raging waters crash against your body and you hear the violent roars of life around you but you're just tired and worn out. in the end you feel like giving up and just going with the flow, letting the waves bring you to wherever it wills you to go. soon enough you're washed back to the safety of the shores, and you lie awake on the sandy anatomy of the beach, thinking "wow. that's one hell of a ride." you wear a smile on your face and stand up once again to repeat the routine; waiting for the next wave to come, challenging it to sweep you off your feet.

life has its many ways of molding a person. sometimes it takes forever, but at times it only takes one person to make that happen. looking back, i am grateful for everything that's happened. the good, the bad. the people i've attached myself with. the things that we go through. the ones who stuck through it with me at my worst and at my best. all i can say is just, wow. i wouldn't say i'd like to turn back time to do it all again, but i wished i had more time though. no longer lingering in the past, no longer wishing for the future. just living in the moment.

i still remember you the most. the way you still make me feel whenever you look at me, the way you held me and told me that you'll be there no matter what. memories of you make up half of my college life, how could i not write this for you? i thank you everyday, even though i'm never around to say it. you changed me in ways i cannot explain, if only you could see it. if only you knew me before this and saw who you've had me become. and i couldn't be any happier. i may not be the easiest person to be with, but that's only because i've already let you in almost all the way. no one has ever gotten this far with me, but you did. i've not opened up to anyone as much as i have to you, even though i keep some feelings to myself so as to protect yours as well. it wasn't easy, but life has never been easy. you're larger than life. that's how much you matter. or maybe it was just the expectations i have of myself that broke me. i don't know. i'm still here breathing now and i'm grateful everyday for that. i'm even more grateful that while i was still able to, i met you along the way. i've always thought that love was born from your eyes. the moment you look at someone you have them locked right then and there. i miss you everyday.

Random loves.

2009-11-25T03:14:00.007+08:00

had a few of the bunch over for wei wen's belated lunch party today. i managed to prepare 5 dishes without fail for a party of 8 people - success. : ) at first i felt a little nervous because i've never even tried any of the recipes that i had planned to make for them except my creamy button mushrooms, let alone making portions enough to feed everyone. at one point i almost wanted to cry because i haven't even made anything yet and they were all here. but to my surprise i managed (with the help of mark of course), all without having to look at the recipe even for once! an accomplishment worth being proud about. :)

i felt like a gazillion stars when everything was done and when everyone was full and satisfied. it wasn't exactly gourmet material but at least it didn't taste horrible and nothing got burnt. :P

hopefully i'll get more practice after i get home.

i don't care what people say about jennifer's body, be it the claims of how it is not scary enough to be a horror movie or how it's not funny enough to be a comedy. i love it with a passion. and no it's not because of megan fox.

diablo cody writes the most hilarious scripts. i am so addicted to it i swear it's not even healthy. the witty and out-of-the-box comments make me laugh like crazy no matter how many times i've watched it (thank the Lord for PPStream). amanda seyfried's team all the wayyy. :D

anyone up for a jen's body discussion with me? itch! :P

and low shoulder's "through the trees" is officially my end-of-the-year anthem now. :)

simple with a touch of laid back casualty. LOVE

:) LOVE

constance victoria is inspiring. LOVE

the bag the bag the bag. LOVE

simplicity of a photographer. LOVE

this reminds me of lisa. LOVE

omg the messenger bag!! i wanttttt. LOVE

has anyone been to see Fossil's new Xmas collection? there's just about a BILLION of things i want to get there. if only i had enough money. why must they make everything so expensive whyyyy.

Your days are numbered at 24.

2009-11-23T17:32:00.006+08:00

homemade hot chocolate and huge soft marshmallows is love.

it's been so cold these few days, my hands and feet are constantly freezing up and i LOVE it. :) the clouds are perpetually hanging overhead with that mischievous swagger, playing down the sun's heat. cold winds swiftly dance around me, embracing my soul with glee and punctuating my skin with delight.

oooh the things cloudy and chilly weathers do to me. ♥

i headed myself down to Cold Storage at Parade's today to get some ingredients for Wei Wen's lunch tomorrow. i really don't know how to explain it but there's just something about shopping at Cold Storage that makes me super happy. i can walk down the same isle again and again for at least 3 times and i'd still feel delighted at the sight of the neatly arranged products on the shelves.

i walked a little further and discovered the kitchen utensils and electronic products section. i browsed through those and my eyes lit up when i saw the rows of shiny knives and cutlery. i even oogled at the nice pots and pans. my hands itched and twitched, almost went and bought the big blocka knife holder.

i ran my fingers over most of the nice ceramic bowls and plates and almost felt as if i were in heaven. the shiny pyrex bowls and casserole dishes only made me miss my mum even more, and wished i spent more time in the kitchen with her when i were younger.

subang parade's just like a labyrinth of delightful things that's just waiting for me to discover. i'm falling more and more in love with it everyday.

i only found out that scarlett johansson can compose and sing. and she does indie music. INDIE. her vocals aren't very standard because they sound different in almost every song, but the touch of country and indie swing in her voice is tempting. i tried being skeptical but i couldn't help it. i think i'm in love. *goofy grin*

the very typical "what i never leave home without" picture.

did it just for kicks though.

bought my new monologue notebook and i couldn't resist. :) so sexay.

more grocery shopping tomorrow! hopefully i won't screw up lunch or else 8 people would have to get insurance beforehand. :P

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep.

2009-11-21T23:03:00.001+08:00

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave tear drops everywhere
You'd think me rude but I would just stand and
Stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns, slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems

Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach my how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock-hop beneath my bed
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread
(Thread, thread...)

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns, slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems
(When I fall asleep)

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
[ Owl City Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep?
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep
(Ha-ha)

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell
(Said farewell)
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar
(Jar, jar, jar...)

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns, slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems
(When I fall asleep)
(2x)

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns, slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams.

adam young you brilliant writer you. <3