Raindrops of you.

Droplets of tender coldness brushed against my fingers as the doors closed behind me. People were running, their eyes searching with desperation for a shelter to protect their shivering bodies against the downpour. I only stood there, unmoving for a minute, feeling the soft playful dancing of the raindrops against my skin. People ran, but I stayed. Others have often wondered what beauty I saw in the rain. I’ve always loved it when it starts drizzling; it cleanses the body, the soul, the mind. On the outside I would smile meekly but deep down inside my heart rejoices at every droplet that makes its way downwards. Where people felt the coldness of the winds, I felt only the warmth of nature’s blessing.




And then, I walked.




I walked without hesitation. With every step that I took, my smile only grew wider. The gentle winds blew, embracing me with such love that even I cannot comprehend; the delicate droplets of rain showered so much attention to me I could barely contain my joy. My breath made little clouds of warmth waltz from my mouth, and it seemed to tickle whenever I let out a light laughter of happiness. I lifted my face to greet the clouds and the rain that came for me.




One drop, two drops, three drops, four.




They were so beautiful, each and every one of them. I felt them nuzzling against my skin, tickling me into tiny giggles as they trickle down towards my neck. They greeted me and my body was their playground; they ran through my hair, soaking me through my clothes. People looked but I never minded; if they cannot enjoy the rain I might as well do it for them.





It rains and rains and everyone is rushing to move on; only my world stood still for that fraction of a moment, a moment so divine and delicate and beautiful that I was afraid to break it. So tender, so fragile. My world was at a standstill as the rain continued to pour, washing my worries away and filling it with so much emotions.



And then, there it was – that feeling. My mind felt it, and my heart felt it too. Every inch of my body pulsated as the thought stayed there so firmly in my soul. At that very moment, I felt that you were here with me. My heart pushed the thought of distance away from my mind and I let the emotions run wildly through my veins. With every touch of rain on my lips that I felt with my fingers, I only felt you. Through the soaked clothes and the passionate warmth that I feel in my soul, I only felt you.





Your presence resounds in my heart and it feels as if you are already here, and that much I know is true.




-Michellious
27 April 2010
6.14pm







--------------------------------------



i miss writing like this; i miss doing proses like my passion's the only thing that fuels my life. : )

I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation; Only you can make me.

it was way past midnight, but i had been wide awake for the most part.


i tore myself away from my bed and grabbed the book from the shelves. i felt for a pen on the table before making my way to the living room and turning on the lights to start penning. i sat there unmoving, trying to capture the emotions that seem to be passing me by like rockets but coming back to haunt me again in a flash, abandoning me as soon as it came. the vicious cycle kept going and going, leaving me hanging and wondering and giving me no respite.


and so i flipped the book open and started writing. i wrote and i wrote without holding back, writing the rawest feelings i could feel, leaving no space for mercy and wasting no time on regrets. i haven't been able to write like this in ages, and once i started i couldn't stop.


minutes passed, then hours. indulged in my own world of words and sentences, i was only brought back to reality once the first light from the break of dawn hit me. i felt the gush of the cold morning wind blowing through my bedroom window, sending chills down my spine, kissing every inch of my skin to icy numbness - a familiar feeling that greets me every time when i'm most unaware of it.


my fingers throbbed as i placed the pen down. i stood up and felt every inch of my body pulsating, feeling the ache radiating through my whole being and an unfamiliar sting shooting out from all of my fingers. my writings took up 6 pages in the book, but i didn't care. it felt good to write again, to get all those buried feelings out in the open, gradually breaking myself free from the shell that i have managed to conceal myself in. i wanted to love so much, because it feels as if sometimes it's the only thing i could do for the world; to love without holding back, to honour someone with all that i can give. i wake up in the mornings feeling that aching pleasure in my heart, but sometimes i reach out yet there's no one there. i focus my love on people who want it or need it, but sometimes it doesn't seem enough. i do not hope for anything in return, as there is no harm to give all that i can. i can only offer just as much, but i guess it will suffice for the most part. there are certain things that do not need explaining, and some things are better left unsaid - things will only unfold in due time.


but for the time being only writing can release me, freeing me from a world that once was and bringing me back to the reality that is supposed to be.

Define my mind, my body is too curious. So won't you show me all there is to know?

working it all out at the lakeside library (do excuse the horrendous facial expression LOL).

it's the mid-sem holidays again but our scheduled are so packed with assignments that we can't even find time for a breather! time's almost running out as i type type type away and i'm still here procrastinating!


this is baaaaad.



BUT! i figured that since i needed to update my blog (given that it's been rotting on the web for quite some time hehe), it's a good reason to take my mind off work for a bit. : ) just going to do a mash-up of the things i've been interested in though, since there isn't anything awesome to blog about recently.

lil miss sophie michelle ellis-bextor. :)

sophie ellis-bextor is making a comeback and i can barely contain my excitement! i've always loved sophie's eccentric nu-disco music ever since her single "murder on the dance floor" became a hit. i watched her newest one the other day while filming our project at sheena's place and i squealed so hard.


can't wait until her latest album comes out in july/august! :D





Sophie Ellis-Bextor "Bittersweet"













i've never been much of an americon idol fan ever since kelly clarkson's victory back in 2002, but the 9th season that's been airing on TV isn't too bad. i have a feeling that maybe a couple of the new ones have more potential than the winners of previous seasons.


my favourite girls bowersox and magnus are left standing, and to be honest i can't really vote for one girl because that'd contradict with the equal love i have for the other. bowersox and magnus both give me the goosebumps when they perform, so whoever wins this season i don't really mind. as long as the winner is one of the two then i'm good to go.


i've really gotten into the spirit though: i even have the wallpapers up just to support them. :D

crystal bowersox the indie chic.

siobhan magnus the quirky woman with an outrageously good voice.

click for the larger image and save them to be used as wallpaper(1280x800)!

source: american idol website.

another interest that i've recently developed is football.


yes. football.


it's never been my thing, since i never understood the passion that most football fans have while watching a game: all that screaming when their respective teams scores a goal or the intensive cursing when they lose one.

the other day i decided to drop the ignorance and look up some of the videos on YouTube to see what the game was about. i was a bit amazed myself; never was i so intrigued by their teamwork and their ability to get the ball into the goal with such precision even when a herd of players from the opposite team were swarming them.

i wondered at the way they handled the ball so accurately and with ease - i had my first session of futsall the other day and i can't even handle it when there's just ONE person blocking me!




so which team have i decided to pledge my loyalty upon?

barcelona fc.

barca managed to keep me interested so far and so has the brazil FC too. is it just me or do they look like they're dancing when they play? i don't know about you but i find them really graceful when they're on the field.










did some shooting the other day and we had our pictures taken for the closing credits. it was pretty fun and all of us had pretty awesome pictures taken.

yours truly.

amber lil khoo.

dixie chic.

meen (and the ke$ha side of her)

sheena the queen bee.

marko darko.

wei wen the beaver.

so many assignments left to do - i think i might just go crazy! but nevertheless, it's something that we have to put up with for the next three years, so why whine right. *zips









i should be heading back to my assignments but before i do so, i will leave my dear readers with a bunch of awesome outfits and clothes i found on LookBook. i miss rummaging through those awesome pictures - to think that i have forgotten them for a while!!

simplicity at its finest! love the quilt!

awesome top and gorgeous combat boots!

there's just something about this picture and her top. oui oui indeed!

that blazer and those shoes!!

somehow i find myself attracted to them bootz.

crop jacket crop jacket crop jacket love.

the bag and the floral tights!

:D

the hair, the jacket, the boots, and the bag. what's there NOT to love about this? :D

bootz and blazers kick ass.

i love that top. like, seriously how can you not? oh and her hair too. :D

so greek!

floral dresses are divine!

love this look. so simple! :)

constance v. never fails to make me oogle.

plaids + vest + leggings + converse = feminine awesomeness. \m/

don't you just love the redness! ^_^

country love. :)

reminds me of that girl from our class for some reason, minus the blue dye in the hair. :P

bag and shoes. bag and shoes!

baggy clothes are love.

source: Look Book.

till then, have an awesome rest of the week! : )

The walk.

marcel proust once wrote:

"we must never be afraid to go too far, for truth lies beyond."

it's about time to venture out. the safety zone will come back sooner or later. it's going to be a long journey and maybe sometimes you'll feel like breaking down and giving up - but at least 30 years from now you can look back and know that you've tried your best.


time to buck up and see where the road's taking us.

source: walking alone by mashat

A snippet to ponder.

Envy is the religion of the mediocre. It comforts them, it responds to the worries that gnaw at them and finally it rots their souls, allowing them to justify their meanness and their greed until they believe these to be virtues. Such people are convinced that the doors of heaven will be opened only to poor wretches like themselves who go through life without leaving any trace but their threadbare attempts to belittle others and to exclude - and destroy if possible - those who, by the simple fact of their existence, show up their own poorness of spirit, mind and guts. Blessed be the one at whom the fools bark, because his soul will never belong to them.

- Zafon, CR 2009 "The Angel's Game", pg. 12 paragraph 1, Weidenfeld & Nicolson Publishing, London.




sometimes i forget how much vigor zafon has in his writing.


i miss reading. sometimes i wish that i hadn't had so many things to do that takes away all my precious reading time. i remember feeling the intensity while reading zafon and setterfield's work - the raw emotions, the suspense and the beauty of literary phrases all strung together in such a way that they keep me safe and intact in their world of imaginations.


and most of the time they make more sense of the world than i could ever imagine.




any suggestions on good books such as zafon's? so far i can never find any book to top his position in my list.

Maybe we could sleep in, making banana pancakes.

first and foremost i'd like to thank those who have voted on my poll on the sidebar regarding the continuation of my blogging. thanks so much for the support loves, whoever you may be! : ) i have 3 readers who voted against my blogging though and usually that's the cue for me to stop, but somehow there are those who have been sweet enough to leave me a note in the Cbox to tell me to keep blogging.


a big huge thank you, to those who have cared. : )


there's still lots more time to vote - so keep them coming in if you want to read more. : )












university life is so much more stressful than i expected it to be. when the seniors said it's utterly suffocating, they weren't exaggerating! :O but i guess it's all the research, referencing and deadlines that make it unbearable - having to upload all the work on two different websites gets pretty frustrating at times. : \


owh well, guess that's just university life for us. to be honest though, we could probably do better without the procrastination (admit it, we all facebook too much!) but in a way it can't be helped anyway - we are human after all! :P















i've received a mail from wendy's the other day.







turned out that they sent over four coupons and a letter saying that i could redeem a free burger because i took part in their new burger tasting survey the other day. pretty awesome doncha think? : )

one free wendy's single Mushroom Melt Burger! :D

too bad that they only have it on the menu for a limit time though.



somehow fast food outlets don't seem that bad anymore. \=)



















it was mark's birthday on the 20th, so meen and i decided to knock him down with a surprise at the stroke of midnight. we brought along cakes as well just to set in the mood. :D


needless to say he was rendered to tears with our affectionate gesture.

meen helping mark to light up candles.

guess who's twenty? :)

chillin' and eatin'.

on that same night, i attended my first concert ever...


... and who better to take away my concert virginity than Zee Avi? :D

the official zee avi concert in Kuala Lumpur!

the passes to see Z ah V.

needless to say that it was BREATHTAKING. zee avi was naturally wonderful, talented, funny, witty, gorgeous, and everything divine!! all her songs were beautifully presented and she was so relaxed with the crowd and interacting with them - it was an absolute experience!

and it left me in tears as well when she kept repeating how good it felt to be back home in Malaysia. when she thanked her dad and presented him with her record label on stage it was a moment to die for. i bit my lip and tried not to cry because it was such a touching moment.


i'm just glad that my first concert experience was an indie one. i wonder if she'll ever hold a concert in miri as well? she should imho. : )
















i've been learning a dish or two from ols bawls recently.

the infamous peanut butter chicken.

and i didn't even know it goes well with spaghetti! :D



i think he just sparked the whole cooking craze again - and he makes it seem all so easy! peanut butter chicken was a blast, and chili chicken was refreshing. i'm tempted to make them and practice as much as i can.


michellious is back in the kitchen yo! B )
















i'm probably going to have to move very soon since the School of Communication is moving to the new lakeside campus in may.


thing is, i don't even have a new place to stay yet. :( sigh.



this is turning to be quite a fuss, really. : \




















officially going back for cousin jane's wedding in may,







seeing the lovely tiffo in june (please owh please let it be!!),




and





finally meeting up with one of the greatest friends i've ever made.








crazy hectic things to look forward to, i'd say. : )