Of birthdays and a new love.

would've uploaded the pics last night if my internet connection hasn't decided to go haywire on me. *pulls a face*





but fear not!! had the motivation to get up and upload these as soon as. : )





so without further ado, presenting the pictures from our outing for caryn's birthday yesterday at Italiannies and Red Box @ The Curve. : )

waiting for the rest to arrive @ Italiannies.

The Jasmeenz. : )

and the starterz have arrived. : D

syaza. pic by althea.

the bunch that was there.
syaza, me (hand), jasmeen (behind me), caryn, sim (slightly seen behind bex), rebekah and althea.

caryn, opening the present from amber. she looked extra cautious because we made it seem really freaky. she wondered if anything would've popped out when she opened it. hahaha.

...and the top's off!

"CANDY?!"

hahahah she was relieved to see that it was just a box full of sweets and such...

... but we didn't tell her that we hid the condoms and a pregnancy test at the bottom. *giggles*






then our meals came! : )

caryn and jasmeen's pizza!

rebekah and althea had the same: chicken and mushroom spaghetti.

i hasz the awesome romano chicken sandwich with stir fried mushrooms and tomatoes. : )

sim's chicken milano platter. the best out of all the meals we ordered imho.

syaz's shrimp and salmon pizzaaaa.

heading on to Red Box.

no specific reason for this picture. i just thought rebekah's facial expression looked funny and sim would've looked perfect with a t-shirt with the Superman logo on it (refers to her pose *g*). and if you look really hard, there's a syaza somewhere. :P

@ Red Box!

not one of the most awesomest pics but after editing it looks vintage and has a cool effect. : )

heaps of lovin' from meen.

wishful cheeky caryn. : )

she hasz cutz the cakez.

meeen and rebekah busy smiling whereas thea was choosing the songs.

"i'm grateful for this cake... but i'm too full to chuck it in."

the red shiny star with the mic.

sim, making herself at home. :P the pic above, courtesy of syaz. : )

bekah and the birthday girl.

sim, belting out to "every woman in the world". XD

jasmeen on the couch, doing her thang.

and syaza went up too. :P

jasmeen pours so much emotion into her singing. :P

yeah the sick person was on the couch most of the time... until britney's "womanizer" came on. hahaha. couldn't resist.

caryn, in between two gargantuan ladies. :P

thea, trying to camwhore with me using my hugeass camera.

everybody up!!!

we sang (or rather, screamed to) so many songs, i think we've sang all the major languages in malaysia. hehehe. it was really fun, even though i was feeling ill throughout; and it felt good to have relaxed with the bunch after all the stress. : )




happy *early* birthday caryn! we lovez you. : )







...................................................



and at the struck of midnight:

there was yet another one. : )

it's mei's birthday, so the boipren decided to throw her a surprise. practically the whole village was up just for her. everyone of her friends (from mentari and suriamas and most prolly some from ridzuan) were here and they all sneaked up to her room to give her the surprise. she was almost already asleep when the boyfriend went up to wake her up. : )


it was just the sweetest thing. *giggles*



happy birthday, mummy mei! may you always be blessed with so much love. ^_^





....................................................



was surfing the net for some information on YouTube, and somehow i came across this gem:

PAULINE.

pauline (real name: pauline vasseur) is a french composer, songwriter and singer. a musician at a very young age, she has just come up with her single "Allo Le Monde". her music is mostly pop, but it's got a really fresh beat to it.










i couldn't stop listening to her music off YouTube again and again. her voice melts me into pieces. ahh l'amour. : )



well what can i say? french singers croon love into my ears. : )


pauline is definitely a new love. ^_^

Bummed outz.

i've been so tired lately. it's taking me forever to just get some things done. whenever i get home i just want to faint away in bed.






i think i'm getting a mild condition of "Simitha Syndrome". *snickers*








there's still one last exam to deal with: malaysian studies. it's basically just studying history all over again, but this time in english. i am so not looking forward to this, but i have to get it done and over with sooner or later.





looking at the text on my laptop is driving me nutz. O_O








ms. natasha gave us yet two more assignments to do for the next couple of weeks. videos again, no surprise there. somehow i'm looking forward to doing the "my malaysia" one. but i'm not exactly sure if my enthusiasm can last long because she's always expecting so many things in a video.



vuh. *dies*








just came back from college too, working on a collaboration with the March Intake Foundation students with their English for College Studies 2 project. met up with semester 1 chairperson CANDICEEEEE. candice. i like that name. : ) toamy is right though, definitely a cool person to hang out with.



looking forward to supporting each other's projects. : )










reality has been running its cold blade against the edges of my life recently. i try to pull through everyday without having to break into a million little pieces all at once. my life makes me feel as though i'm running a marathon. constantly struggling to get to nirvana at the end of the race but i'm breathing hard, choking and gasping for air.



but i'm surprised i'm still alive to pull through. sometimes things can get to me, but somehow optimism becomes ones best friend when things get too boring as they're the same routine everyday.




it's odd though, because i'm still happy. yeah, there are times when people can give us hard times, but we pull through, you know? and along the way you'll slowly come to find out who's worth standing up the fight with.









: )





_gets back to malaysian studies_

What are you up to and where have you been?

she's leaning against the edge again, her current favourite spot in the world. she held the bottle tight in her hands, feeling the freezing cold bite against her calloused fingers. she single-handedly popped open the bottle, and watched the cold chill linger out slowly from the mouth of the bottle.



she took a mouthful and felt the frizz make its way down her throat. the winds blew again, taking her thoughts away once more into the darkness of the night. her eyes moved from the bottle in her hands towards the view from where she stood. the lights illuminated the streets still, but it wasn't brave enough to ignite the whole city. slowly she could feel that there was a change in the air. putting aside the bottle, she held out her hands and waited.



surely enough, there it was. one drop, two drops, three. she held back her arms and looked at the droplets that laid barren in her palms, slowly she placed her hand onto her face, feeling the coldness of the raindrops on her skin. a wave of emotions suddenly swept her away, leaving her numb throughout.




that feeling - it was familiar.




she closed her eyes then, rethinking the times when she last felt this way. she rummaged through the memories and thoughts in her head. and finally she found it, and she smiled. the familiar faces, the stories, the love. it was ignorant of her to have missed it all this while, but she realises it now. to take it all back again and rebuild what was once there.




pete murray started to play in her iPod, serenading her heart and her thoughts, putting them at a standstill.

Throw my smoke down on the ground,
Turn my head and I heard the sound,
That reminded me,
Of the days so young and sweet;
Always so much fun to meet,
At least I thought so.

my heart is reaching out to you, hoping you will take my hand in return.

wherever you may be, my thoughts will always be with you.

A break.

i had one of the most serious cases of insomnia last night (or rather, this morning). had a long discussion with lala bear and ended up getting insomnia until 4am this morning.



only woke up at 9am, 10am and 11am respectively. :P hehehe.



later on i went and spent the rest of the day with lala bear and zin at the pyramid, getting a few things here and there. it wasn't anything special, but spending time with them did make me feel a lot better. the time spent at the bookstores and CD outlets did make a feel at ease somehow.





didn't really catch much, but i spent a couple of tens on things today.

japanese fruit tea - the detox way out.

have been having an upset stomach lately. i still don't know why, but i found this japanese tea set at jusco's earlier so i decided to get them, just to detox myself for a bit.

hopefully i'll get better.

the only anime that i ever loved watching - The Chef.

i remembered watching this YEARS ago when it was last shown on AXN. i'm not exactly a big fan of anime, but this one was able to keep me hooked for years. zin told me she found the DVD box set at popular's a few weeks ago.


i felt obliged to get it. for around 20 bucks, it's quite affordable. : )








and last but not least, the ultimate love that has kept me addicted the whole day:

"The Angel's Game" by Carlos Ruiz Zafon.

the minute i laid eyes on the name i couldn't stop holding it throughout my visit at the bookstore.


one of my favourite authors of all time, Carlos Ruiz Zafon finally came up with the prequel to his international bestseller "The Shadow of The Wind".


i remember reading every single page of Shadow of the Wind; his raw writing and the way he plays with people's emotions is so vivid and full of substance. i could picture every scene that he conjured in the pages of his novel. i really love and adore Mr. Zafon's work, and this is one those books that i WILL NOT fail to get.



and i promise myself i will get this. no - i MUST.







but for now... i have yet to finish the ELEVEN new novels that i have lying around.





_sigh_ wish me luck.

What old pictures say about now.

time brings unexpected things,

and along the way we grow as we travel on.

most of the time the roads seem all the same,

but sometimes we venture into those that are unfamiliar;

and we find ourselves at a crossroad,

just looking, staring,

trying to decide where to go.

we are young,

still naïve and innocent, as it were.

but we are not afraid to learn

to get our hands dirty and clean them up ourselves,

to break our own hearts and heal it again.











somewhere in between,

things can get us down.

and when life runs off course,

it turns us;

changes us.

sometimes when we steer into a different path,

we are meant to undergo changes

and become better along the way.











and from little steps,

we learn.

first we are afraid to take that step

but slowly we get used to it.

we may be afraid;

we may be challenged,

and yet we move on

and we try our best to get to the top.

the steps along the road is long and winding,

but we take them on by the horns.










and when times get dark,

always know that the light is at the end of the tunnel

and things will eventually be okay.


don't hang on;

let go.


and life will find its way back to you.






photography copyright michellious.


... and those who take the pictures without linking or infringing copyright to its owner will wish that durians and watermelons never existed.

Quickies.

short and quick recap on a few things before i get back to my IMC revision (again).







i finally got a hair cut. after some time i guess i just needed something to change, so in the end my hair became the victim of it. i never expected the hairdresser to gimme this haircut though. i just said i wanted a change and he just gave me whatever. i didn't really mind.




turned out that he gave me a bob-style hair cut. yes. bob-style. mushroom head, as ya'll call it.





at first i found it different, then i found it slightly cute, and after that THEN i found it hilarious. my friends were all laughing at me and my haircut. and quite frankly i'm not the slightest mad at them though.




list of reactions from friends (accending order):





mei: eee! like dora the explorer! :D


althea: omg you cut your hair?... i'm not used to it lah wei. LoLz.


amber: *eyes very wide*.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(continuously)!!!!111 ...but seriously damn kiut wei. :P


jasmeen: hey michelle you cut your hair ah! like... okay lah sorry but macam budak bodoh. *snickers*


mark: *tries very hard not to laugh*


rebekah: ... HAHAHAHAHA. :D



tharshanator: heyl.... *eyes very wide*... HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG DORA THE EXPLORER!!!





it's funny how sometimes, even when things turn out really bad, you get a kick out of it. maybe at one point the laughing gets really embarrassing for me when they slightly go over the line, but that's life right? we laugh at the silly things and forget about it.



but i have to say, the interesting thing was that when they laughed, it makes me somewhat happy too. : )








and i hate to admit, but i look slightly *just slightly* like this:











hahahaha!


... yeah. shaddap. :P




















got introduced to one hell of an awesome song that i can't seem to get my mind off of.













and nothing beats acoustic version. NOTHING. _omgsplutterdies_








this. is. definitely. new. love.


and the boys are so cute. : ) you must admit.





thanks toamy. you're an awesome music lover. i am glad i found another who knows their music. : )





















and what do you call an awesome rocker woman in her 50s who still looks DAMN hawt?

SUSANNA HOFFS

i couldn't stop listening to the bangles' "Eternal Flame". it's one of my oldie favs. *hearts*











updated:

two of my friends just came to visit me at my apartment to see if i were okay. i feel better now. : ) okay, back to revision.

Grace under pressure.

"you're pretty brave to do this, girl. i've gotta hand it to you and your courage."






"yeah."






"you sure you wanna do this?"






"yeah."







"okay. i salute you then."

monday's coming. you ready for this?

The break, not the Kit Kat.

taking a break from reading my Intro to Mass Comm textbook.



i swear if i read anymore pages my eyes will fuzz out and i will go blind. O_O




my weeks have been hectic, overall. like what amber said: "Mich and her 6th academic-spider sense is actually right! Sem 2 is actually quite stressing, goddamnit." it was just the unsettling feeling that our second semester's going to be a hellava ride, and so far it's proven me quite right.



mid terms is just two days away, and i'm still stuck with my Malaysian Media History and my Intro to Mass Comm studies. so many things, so little time. it's a sin to have so many things to do.



*tries not to pull hair out*






things have gone pretty haywire for me. after a long period of time, that feeling just creeps up on me and decides to toy around with my thoughts and emotions, in the end leaving me stripped bare and naked in front of an audience. the last big screw up was the year before, and the friendship that was held under strong foundation had been able to crumble and almost diminish because of it.


but luckily everything was slowly pieced back together, even if there are still torn parts that are not meant to be brought up anymore.





sometimes life can just throw you off course. when it decides to, it will kick you in the shins and you'll steer to some unknown destination, almost crashing as it were.



but there will always be people in the passenger seats to help you. : )








i spent a good amount of time speaking to Him last night. it's been quite a while since i've taken the initiative to speak to Him again. it felt good, to just stand there at the balcony, holding Him in my hands and feeling his presence around me as i spoke silently.



too religious? haa well, some people need it when the time comes around.




going through youtube.com and watching all the janet jackson videos my friend sent me. it makes me miss those times when i was younger. more carefree and a lot more oblivious as to what the future might bring.






*ponders*





anyway, mum's been calling me up about the whole swine flu sitch. she's sent over 10 masks so i can wear/distribute them to people.


O_O



oh, and i'm changing my number again soon so my phone line won't keep barring. celcom's barred my line for the second time round now.


and guess what. one text would cost me RM0.50. it's BLOODY FIFTY CENTS okay. and you do NOT want to know how many texts i can send in a day. omg you do NOT want to know.





yikes.




will inform you guys when i get the number tomorrow. :)







been having the worst upset stomach ever. trying to detox today. hope it works. *shrugs*






okay break's over. i gotta get back to my IMC studies now.





_ends_

Red shiny star ain't so shiny sometimes.

just came back earlier from the pyramid with shella and sean.



watched the premiere of Angels and Demons.




i guess maybe it's because i keep thinking "media literate media literate". i was kindda critical towards the movie. felt that it didn't live up to the book. it totally missed out the last part where they should've mentioned the fifth symbol. hmm.



the only thing i liked was the soundtrack. i think that's what made the movie slightly more interesting than it is.



: \




.......................................



listening to M.Y.M.P again on YouTube. their music always makes me feel better. *loves*




.......................................




my phone line got barred again.



i can't call or text nobody. it just feels like i don't have a phone rather than having one.


: (



it feels weird not being able to text her in a day. *sigh*




...................................



i hate to admit it, but i'm pretty stressed out most of the time. i never really whined about this to anyone but it's true.


i. am. stressed.



by what, you ask? well basically a lot of things. kindda lazy to mention but i'm just stressed out by the little things in life. things that i can't seem to get rid of.



hmm.







...................................






it is me, or does my hair serum not work at all?



gah bugger.




.........................................




mid-terms next week! and i haven't started studying yet.




owh very productive michelle.








sometimes i can get so disappointed with myself, you have no idea.






my self esteem has gone downhill for the past few days. don't know why. maybe it's because of the things that have been happening? or is it something else?





*ponders*






this is exactly why i keep getting distracted from my studies. ugh.

苹果。

苹果，

一口咬下去

又甜又酸。



就像

你一样；



我讨厌、

又喜欢。




痛着；

因为心里

只想疼着你罢了。




牵着你的手，

只想告诉你

每当你需要我的时候，

我都会在你身边。




拥抱着你的温暖，

让我清楚知道

自己存在的意义。




但是，

和你一起的时候，

都一直很害怕；




因为

分分秒秒，

恐怕我的一举一动

都会伤害你；


也担心

自己越来越也不清楚

对你的感觉

已经到了哪一个程度。




唯一清楚的

就只是我心里

想一直保护着你、

疼着你

的那种感觉，




正努力着

寻找那看似没有永远的出口。

Snippets of Mother's Day.

For me, two mothers aren't one too many:

One's for real, and one's for other things.

Remember: there are those who haven't any,

Missing their one chance at angel's wings.

You're the one most free to mother me,

Giving without worrying I'll be spoiled.

Often my real mother "has to see,"

Dreading I might get my future soiled.

More than just an aunt, what's in your heart

Opens doors within where I can go

To learn the difficult and gentle art

Happiness embraces those who know.

Each moment that you love me makes me whole:

Rare is she who can so grace a role.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavour by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.




i wish you were here with me mum. if only you know how much i miss you. i love you, and i always will. never will i have a change of heart mummy. ever.


you'll always have me, no matter what.







happy mother's day to my mother, who has been my everything.



happy mother's day too, to all the mothers in the world.



and a happy mother's day, to those who've been a mother to me. : )





___________________________________________



have you ever had that feeling? that one that somehow seems to find its way into your heart mysteriously and tugs and squeezes at your chest, making you feel like you want to burst into a million little pieces but you can't seem to manage?



but it's not necessarily a bad feeling really. and actually, it's one of those feelings that i look forward to.



thank you, for making me feel at ease with myself in your own way. i'm really blessed to have you in my life. : )

naan unnai kathalikkiren, amma. : )

Love came back. : )

having my study leave from today onwards. will have to busy myself with studies for the upcoming week.


mass comm assignment to deal with. omg my head feels like breaking into two. ugh.


: (







only recently has my love come back to me - LETTERS ARE STREAMING BACK IN AGAIN!! : D





i haven't been receiving letters properly ever since i moved here to the Big City. sometimes my friends would tell me they've sent me things but their parcels never got through. but for the past week, i've gotten 3 packages that make me smile really really big.




thanks lovies. your love always make me feel better. always. : )





packages i've gotten so far:

from the faraway land of EU-KAY. : )

there CharT, i featured your letter on my blog as promised. : ) hehehe.


i super loved your letter hun. you make letters so poetic. your description of all the flowers blooming in spring makes me want to fly over to London like NOW NOW NOW. awesome beauty, they are. : )

and then there's the very familiar long doggie-face card. : )

daddy kerrie baby daughter misses you loads. : ) *glomps and kisses*












and last but not least, the one that i've waited a LONG time to arrive and prayed REALLY hard for it to get here...

from the girl whose music never fails to delight me in many ways.

like i said tiffo, your package got through!! somehow i think the people at the malaysian post tore the package open again to check again like last time when you sent me the bible for my 17th birthday but i think everything's pretty intact.


there's your awesome music with your lovely voice;

a list of songs on the CD;

an thank you card with your familiar handwriting in it;

and a picture of us, taken back when you came to visit.



i hope those are all. : )

when we were younger...
and together.

i [love] you.

the words you say never cease to make me melt love. i love you too. : )








letters coming your way loves. : )