10 January 2009

Finding my solace.

哭过了就算了。
(things will still go on after a long, good crying.)


i sat alone in front of the laundry room thinking about home earlier tonight. i threw my old pajamas into the wash and turned the timer on. but this night, i brought down coelho's "Veronika Decides to Die" with me to kill time.


i sat cross-legged in the chair as my eyes devoured the book in silence. as soon as i landed on page 22, i felt this sudden pang of clarity inside of me. i thought about my family back at home but the usual intensity of overflowing homesickness didn't affect me that much at that moment.


placing my book down, i closed my eyes and took a deep breath and let out a deep, long sigh. i averted my gaze from the book in my lap to look outside the laundry room windows, placing my sight upon the wonders of Sunway Pyramid's glamorous scenery at night. it's beauty was unmistakable, with the city's bright lights illuminating the fierce lion's head and bringing it to life, boasting the city's infamous night life.

looking outside, i still felt that i wouldn't be able to fit in.



so far my stay here has been acceptable, but the only problem killing me slowly was my homesickness. i never thought leaving for college would have such an effect on me, and i never thought i would feel so much like an outsider here.

i kept my gaze steady on the scenery and i never once took my eyes off it.


then it hit me.

i understood at that instant what my problem was and i kept my finger on it.


bringing myself back from my thoughts, i placed my arms on the washing machine and rested my chin on them as i looked at my clothes, thrown in a whirlpool of soap water and turned rapidly back and forth back and forth back and forth.

as soon as i got my laundry done, i brought myself back to my room in a series of quick steps. i settled down in front of my computer screen and began to type out the URL onto the address bar.






click.





click.






click.






click.






click.





"book time?"





click.





"confirm selection?"





click.







===========================

TRANSACTION COMPLETE

===========================

















i know there's still a long way to go,

but my heart will find it's peace again this march.

5 spilled milk:

above.the.sky said...

I'm confused..
Are you flying back home or..? =S


http://exactlyasitseems.blogspot.com/

Michellious said...

haha yeah i'm flyin back home in march. : )

above.the.sky said...

I was just confused at what your problem was..
"i understood at that instant what my problem was and i kept my finger on it."

I didn't know what you meant exactly. But now I understand the bit about you flying home. (:

tiff pan said...

i remember feeling so excited after i bought my ticket and printed out the infirmary.: )

Ning said...

Let's go out for shopping, dinner and beer and some clubbing & dancing and come stay over at my place baby!