06 January 2009

Breaking down at the break of dawn.

i don't want to open my eyes;

i don't want to open my eyes to a different darkness.

i don't want to open my eyes in fear knowing that it's not home.

i don't want to open my eyes and realising that all that it was was just a dream.

i don't want to open my eyes to know that i have to endure almost 3 months of this before i go home.

i don't want to open my eyes because i know that when i do, i have to cope.

i don't want to open my eyes to what everyday for the rest of the year would be like - not HOME.

i don't want to open my eyes and think about what lies ahead of me; for me.

i don't want to open my eyes and convice myself that i'm not with my family anymore.

i don't want to open my eyes to let the tears drench my face.

i hate waking up in the mornings now. it's when my homesickness starts dwelling really hard and deep into me.


5 spilled milk:

tiff pan said...


i'm right there with you. i understand what you're going through. i just got back and honestly, i'm feeling a little homesick already. i've already gone through one semester of college (being away from home) but it still takes time to adjust. it's only the first few weeks. hold strong. you can do it. i believe that you can do it with God's helping hand. don't forget to talk to Him about everything you're feeling. keep in touch with your family and friends back home. but learn to open up to your new life. it's hard - nobody said it was going to be one smooth ride. keep the faith.

"though the journey may be long, you must learn to trust to be strong,
because in love you can conquer all,
don't be afraid He'll carry you on."

Char T said...

Suck it up! Be a woMAN! ahahaha.

Your post made me a lil homesick thank you very much. =P At least we have internet to talk to parents yea?


Ning said...

Poor little Koala... Hope u feel better soon, ur homesick sounded much more serious than mine last time...

If it makes u feel better, I can't go home in one year... and I have no one to speak mandarin or malay to... no chicken rice, no char siu, no siu yok, no satay, no teh tarik, no nasi lemak, no siu mai, no kueh chap, no kolot me, no PAO, not evern a bloody char siu PAO!

Oops, sorry... too loud ain't I. I just wanna say, I feel u, I totally do...

CharT said...

Kolo mee...


above.the.sky said...

This made my heart break...
I hope you feel better soon.