02 November 2008

Upsetting.


so,
college decisions are made. and everything is settled.

but yet

in some way,

i feel the most overwhleming disappointment inside of me.

somehow

that tugging at the bottom of my heart isn't the least satisfying at all.

i'm sitting here alone,
with the door locked and the windows closed.

i'm sitting here alone,
staring at the old cupboard doors hanging loosely on the hinges
as they creak in faint screeches
to the light pressure from the winds that came from the ceiling fan.

i'm sitting here,

wondering

while i listened to joshua's "i'd rather be with you".

Sitting here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way.


his voice is serenading my every heartbeat at this precise moment. it feels as if his voice could sing to me in just the most extraordinary ways - it's fascinating. it's exhilarating but at the same time, it mellows down the whole mixed feelings that i am going through altogether.

i've been doing some thinking, and quite frankly i find that life is just the way it is. things happen for a reason. and even if sometimes we could never understand that reason, we'd just have to live with it, you know? it's life, and life's just the way it is.

as i'm sitting here,
i wonder if there are others out there,

going through the same things as i am.

but i suppose that, for the time being,
i'm just going to have to make do with what i have.

even if it's not what i've wished for,

i should be blessed that i've even gotten this far.

0 spilled milk: