20 October 2008

Trying to smile.

as my title suggests, i am trying really hard not to feel so unhappy now.

just earlier in the evening i had this raging row with the whole family. this time it sucked bad because the faults all on me now. at one point i really felt neglected, like it was totally and utterly impossible for them to really open up and let me in.

i was going on this frantic letter-writing mode in the bathroom earlier (i always write a letter to my mother confessing my feelings when i'm unable to say them out loud) and i had spent almost an hour and a half in there, sweating myself mad.

but after the shower and welcoming cooling-off time, i felt a little less upset with myself and my life. and going online made me feel even better. talking to a few friends also killed the sadness.

thanks may. your japanese-horror-mannequin-pictures and crazy ken-hirai fanantic mode makes me forget about things for a while. : )





.................................................







and right now, i'm looking at this to make myself laugh:






hehehe.

my eyes are all puffy from the crying earlier, but its a wonder how i feel okay right now.

ahh the wonders of the internet and friends.

owh and btw,



this has the word gay written all over it. poor ken, i used to look so highly of him. now look what he's done to himself. XD

-

on a side note: RACHAEL YAMAGATA ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!!

and i've just bagged her latest album "ELEPHANTS... TEETH SINKING INTO HEART". i have to say, it's one of her best yet!! : D



owh and i also hogged on two of Secondhand Serenades' albums "AWAKE" and "A TWIST IN MY STORY (ADVANCED)".





if you want any of the songs, you'll know where to find me. : )

edited: my sister just came in with a strawberry lolly from starbucks and a PAPER BAG PAPER BAG PAPER BAG! i can't possibly stay mad at this point. how can? you say: how can!

2 spilled milk:

tiff pan said...

send me a few of rachel yamagata's new songs please!: )

tarotism said...

It's kindda weird watching Ken's vids coz' I believe hetero men DONT move that way unless.... you know.

But the song is quite nice though. :)

Peaceful Out! XD