27 September 2008

Tough decisions.

i didn't think that it would end up like this.

before i started to look up for colleges to go to, i asked my parents which profession would they allow me to do. back then, they always gave me the same answer: "what matters is what you love to do. choose the right path and we'll support you all the way, as long as you put your heart into it."

ever since they said that, i felt proud. proud, because my parents didn't turn out to be like those who preferred their children to get a doctorate's degree or a lawyer's licence.

but now that i look at it, i suppose they weren't really taking my question seriously.

i'm torn; torn between making a decision: whether to take Foundation in Mass Communication and satisfy my parents, or go against them by taking Arts and Design.

D E S I G N has always been a part of me, and people have always told me that i have the potential to take that talent and make it into something great, something much bigger than that...
... and yet, i know my limits and i know that in the design industry, determination and self-discipline to hang on and beat the pressure involved are crucial. it's risky to choose design as something i want to do in the future because the journey to achieve recognition is not insured. one mistake and all that money used to provide me with the education would go down the drain.


and that's a lot of money to risk.

M A S S - C O M M U N I C A T I O N. it sounds fun. it's less pressuring as compared to arts and design. it involves communicating with people, which i enjoy doing. and the thought of working at a radio broadcasting station or on TV had always been one of my dreams...
...but is mass communication worth it all? i never dwelt in the possibilities of my future in the media industry. and i'm not sure WHAT i would end up doing if i took media and broadcasting.


the opposing factors are preventing me from making the right decision. i couldn't just blindly go with something because my future's at stake. people tell me: "just follow your heart", but that's the main problem. my heart's indecisive. i couldn't make up my mind to choose either one of them.

everytime i want to discuss with my parents, they would say "michelle we've told you about the disadvantages of doing design." then i would tell them that bottom line they don't support me in doing design? and they would reply "but we're not saying that either."

so what the HELL are you trying to tell me then?? if you didn't oppose to the idea of doing arts and design, why repeat the disadvantages at all when i want to discuss about it?!

sigh.

i don't know.

sometimes,
it makes me wish that i knew how to make firm decisions and stick with it.

and sometimes,
i wish i didn't have a future so i won't have to decide.

: (

i am so unhappy now i feel like i could disappear in the moment.

so dear readers,

i'm turning to all of you for the last opinion(s). i am putting up a poll at the sidebar on my blog. i really need more thoughts about this, and i need it fast. i'm in desperate need to get through this, or else i might just end up not doing anything at all.

please help vote for the course that you think would suit me best. if possible, do leave me a comment so as to provide me with the reason(s) for your pick or leave me an email if you have more information regarding either courses.

your help could save my future; and possibly, my life.

thanks.


==========================================

sometimes i wonder if i should even talk at all,
because there are those
who never cease to take the words that i say,
twist them around
and use them against me.

i want to say that i wish people like that would perish
and leave me at peace.
but then,
that wouldn't be so nice now would it?

1 spilled milk:

tarotism said...

Please don't muind i quote ar
~~~~
" everytime i want to discuss with my parents, they would say "michelle we've told you about the disadvantages of doing design." then i would tell them that bottom line they don't support me in doing design? and they would reply "but we're not saying that either."

so what the HELL are you trying to tell me then?? if you didn't oppose to the idea of doing arts and design, why repeat the disadvantages at all when i want to discuss about it?!"
~~~~
Actually when I read through it, I had the same feeling with you, but when I realized it from another angle, it did not mean your parents did not want you to go arts but just that they wanted you to REALLY SURE that you are aware of it if you are determined to do it.

Jia You!!!
PEEACEE OUUT!! :)