Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical.

it's been poking at me recently, how my younger friends are taking their turns graduating and leaving for college and university now. it's amazing sometimes when i look at them and think "wow, it's your turn now."


they grow up so fast,

sometimes i don't even know where to begin.


i've been thinking about a few things, one of them being my friends who are already studying or are going to study overseas. CharT, griz, deaney, tiffo, alene, derek, kerrie... and very soon it'll be michelle, my sister jo and kurt's turn.

sometimes i think about it, and it hurts somewhere deep down inside. there's just that heavy weight that gathers at the edge of my heart and tugs at it, making it difficult for me at certain moments. do you get that? or maybe i'm just being too clingy. *shrugs*



it's kurtie's turn tomorrow, joining his big sister CharT in English-Land on his journey to adulthood (exaggerating much? LOL). another one off for a ride, and another two to go.



missing people is hard.

A Twenty and A Ten.

another year has passed and another one has arrived.


it's funny how my 2009 came and left in such a hurry. going through it seemed like a very long time, but once the time is up, it all appeared to be ending a little too fast for me. nonetheless, 2009 proved to be one of the biggest turning points for me yet. i haven't been through as much in the 18 years of my life as i had done so in 2009. so many different people, so many different experiences. it really is an eye-opener for me. i have loved and lost as i did every year, but 2009 definitely took everything to a higher level. i had to let go of my home and step out into a world where protection only came in the form of my own soul, and also with the help of a few of my friends who stuck with me on my journey. i have met people and made friends, and we have shared countless of things with each other which i know will bond us for a lifetime.



when i was 18 i thought that i was ready for the life-long journey that awaited my embarkation, only to find myself facing what seemed to be the beginning of it all, a minor little test-run of the things that are soon to come. fear is an inevitable thing; everyone will embrace it at some point in their lives. some experience it more than others, but sooner or later all of us would savour the sweet taste of bravery that licks at our lips and releases us of our fears, one at a time.



well loves, it's finally 2010.



the year of which my first beverage was also my first shot. ;P

the year i start my degree.

the year i begin bracing myself for more challenges to come.

the year that i'll embark on that trip i've been planning to do.

the year i begin to take on work experiences.

the year i turn twenty.

and the year in which i will start from scratch, first by getting my old self back.





currently checking the new year's resolution list now, making sure that i have everything right. have you written yours yet? : )

hello, eloise!

i love love love LOVE this show as a child.



and i still do. <3

Watch the rain play on the ocean top.

after what seemed like a long time, i'm back on the road once again with the steering wheel in my hands and the whole world in a fast-motion blur behind the windows.


the moments spent with siying tonight was a good one. i haven't seen her for almost a year now and we caught up on a lot of things. we shared stories and laughed like how we used to; it felt really good. that's one of the things i love about catching up with long-lost loved ones: you'll never know what stories they have up their sleeves. : )



....................................


it's only been a week but being back here has got me thinking about so many things. thoughts perpetually raced through my mind and they haven't stopped since. i have yet to meet up with the rest of the lovelies and i keep thinking there's not enough time for everyone, even when i still have until february. i guess it just feels that way, not because i don't have enough time in the world but rather what's left of 2009. time passes us by so fast; it feels like only yesterday my high school friends and i were waiting for the dawn on 2009 to arrive, camwhoring at the carpark in marriott hotel during our last seconds of 2008 together.


and yet, look at all of us now: we've survived another year of college.






it struck me as amazing how a year had gone by and changed so many things. i come back home now and i sit down with everyone else at the table, each and every one of us sharing our own stories that no longer consisted of old friends but rather the new ones. most of us have changed, trying to catch up with the current life that's pushing us to a better future. life takes away certain things, but places them with new ones.


it's something that i've learnt about growing up: people leave, and they move on. sometimes it's not the best feeling in the world, knowing that once we had been inseparable, connected... and now all of us have our own lives to live. debbers said it's something that we have to come to terms with - letting go of old friends so that they find their own ways in life, even if it meant hurting inside and feeling left out, going against what used to be.


but then again, without the separation we won't be able to experience that warmth that embraces you when catching-up with friends. it feels so good: a kind of adrenaline rush that you get when you sit down yourselves down and hear so many different stories about each others' lives, then comparing it to the past and laughing at ourselves and the things we've done together. it's amazing.





....................................



i drove at 120, with the windows turned down and the wind running its delicate fingers through my hair. i can't remember the last time i ever felt like this, so free and liberated as if there was nothing in the world that could stop me.


it's one of the things i love about returning home. it's like being back in my very own one tree hill. the feelings were familiar; the places, the people. every corner lingered with a memory just waiting to be discovered again. i felt at ease with the familiar faces, even though it's not always smooth sailing. my family is here, my memories are here. my heart will always be here.


but people move out and move on, i suppose. people always leave.




it's christmas, and i couldn't help but think about him for the past few days. he was my first christmas memory, as all the rest seemed vague and fade in comparison. but what's left of us is no longer worth anything but a mere retention in my mind and an emotion in my heart. however, he had once been in my life nonetheless, and for that he will always occupy that space in my heart. and i still miss him.





i drove on towards home, with jimmy eats world in the player.

"Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it gets easy
You can't keep safe what what's to break."

i think of her, and i smile. memories of us are still intact - as vivid in my mind as the feel of the keyboard that i am now typing underneath my fingertips. people have always awed at our friendship; how it was formed under such a short period of time but have remained so solid through these years even though we're two worlds apart. this has always been our song, and i'll always count down the days until we see each other again.


maybe next summer ey, tiffo? : )







it's been a long year, 2009. but why do i feel like i want it to last forever?

Christmas day...

... is about loving and feeling loved. :D

December never felt so wrong, 'cause you're not where you belong - inside my arms.

currently crooning The Hotel Cafe Winter Songs on the playlist.



have a merry christmas, everyone. may all your wishes come true in the new year to come. : )

Resisting.

i've never liked numbers. ascending, descending.





the way it grows from a miniscule nothing of a zero to an infinite number made up of a lot of zeros.


the way it defines the amount of money, and people using it to measure up their wealth.


the way it turns up in a mathematical equation.


the way it is used as an identification in prison.


the way it presents itself, so vast and neverending.


the way it shows how much time has passed.



and the way it shows how many days one has left to live.

翻! Taiwan, Pt. 3 of 3.

the last post of my visit to taiwan - here goes! : )



the beautiful scenery taken from one of the visiting sites at 阳明山Yang-Ming Mountain. we wanted to go for the hot springs there and i couldn't bring my camera along for the trip. : ( the scenery there was to DIE for. i wanted to scream so badly because it was so breath-taking up there but i haven't gotten any cameras to take pictures of.

my first MOS burger meal!

i've always wanted to try their burgers as they have the burger where their buns are made out of organic rice. : ) it's not the cheapest thing to have (my meal was NTD148 which converted would amount up to about RM14.80) but i bought it for the sake of trying.

their simple designs are what i like best. : )

mine was pork chop and curry in the organic rice bun. i love. : )

the designs on the beverages. *squeals*

then we headed down for a trip to 九份Jiu-Fen, one of the famous tourist spots because it overlooks the whole of Taipei.

i love these little rice dumplings sold at 7-Eleven. : )

grandma and grandpa Pan's place.

we went to visit one of the temples there. it was SO.BIG. but so divine. :D

it's so fairytale-like, don't you think?

this is almost beyond beauty. :D

maple leaf! <3

i was trying to take a picture but suddenly cousin jason jumped to take a picture...

... of this leetle spider. : )

my photography did not do this justice i swear. the mixture of red, orange and green will blow your mind. : )

we climbed all the way up here just for the pictures hehe. : )

the next morning cousin m and my sister decided to sleep in while cousin jason, aunt tracy and i brought the bikes up and went for a long ride.

the beautiful scenery we have when cycling alone the river.

taking a break halfway through.

we had to go through these little plots of farming lands and it was awesome. the plantations were green and beautiful, the sun was shining (not my favourite thing in the world but a little sweating will do me good), and the air was fresh. sometimes we would ride by spring onion and chive farms and the breeze would be filled with their scent.

staccato-ed with hints of manure, nonetheless. haha.




not long afterwards, we reached the top of the hill where the little temple was, along with some really old shops that sold trinkets and such. we had breakfast there and also some shaved ice and red bean. : )

one of the old shops there.

on your left we have chives and on your right we have spring onions. : )

the happiest sight of nature ever.

i think that if people were to wake up in the mornings and have this view presented to them everyday, the world would be a happier place.

daisies were abundant as well. i couldn't help loving them. : )

duckies lounging beside the computer in the study room at 三峡San-Xia.

i spent my last few days here briefly roaming around with the rest or sometimes by myself. i was slightly sad because i didn't set out and adventure on my own during my first week when i had loads of time. i only managed to venture out during my last two days in taiwan and i found this really cute place just around the corner from my aunt's place in taipei.

my favourite diner in taiwan: Shih's Bagels.

my first breakfast set at shih's.

in 1995 mr. shih first arrived in america and had his first bagel, but after coming back to taiwan he couldn't find any around the city so he decided to look up for information about bagels. that was when his journey of bagels began. finally, in 2007, shih's bagels established its first main store situated right there where i had my first bagel breakfast set.


mr. shih also made cream cheese of 6 flavours, ranging from sweet to sour, to suit the customer's choices (standing at NTD45/RM4.50 per tub of 50g).



he also has his own homemade caramel creme pudding (standing at NTD40/RM4 per tub or 3 tubs for NTD100/RM10).


homemade yogurt is also available for the same price as the caramel pudding.


homemade pasta sauce is also available @ NTD180/RM18 per 170ml.


shih's bagels famous marmalade is really nice as well. it's not too sweet and contains no perservatives, just right for those who love the natural taste of fruit on their bread (standing at NTD220/RM20 per 170ml).


mr. shih's 11 flavour bagels, standing at NTD45/RM4.50 each: green tea, olive basil, blueberry, cinnamon raisin, sesame, wholewheat, plain, earl grey, garlic, onion and cheese(NTD55/RM5.50).


if you want something more filling, there's also the breakfast set menus to choose from. they're all freshly made upon order and they taste super good. :D








the interior of shih's bagels is homey and comfortable, giving its customers a welcoming hug everytime they take their first step into the place.


the nice little table top area. my favourite spot is the first working lamp from the left, where i usually have a bagel and apple juice and do my usual people-watching. : )

the little notes that satisfied customers have left on the walls in the shop. : )

my second breakfast set at shih's.

i think one of the things that i'll miss the most is the little shops they have in the area. at every turn and every corner of those little old apartments there would be a little cosy shop tucked away somewhere, just waiting for people to discover them and claim it their own little space to hang out and relax.

galoop, a clothing/lifestyle store that's situated right below my aunt's place.

"more & more" lunch bar.

cafe bastille, the belgium beer place right beside more & more lunch bar.

odeon bar and bistro.

asha brunch house right across the road from shih's bagels.

the view from the plane during our flight back.

in a nutshell, my visit to taiwan was great. good food, fun people, seeing new things, experiences. i've seen a few things and learned some more. i'm grateful beyond words to say the least. my heart felt heavy when i had to leave. i miss quite a lot of things.

i miss the cool weather that kisses my face and leaving it cold and nice.

i miss the little secluded shops that are always so cosy and makes me feel safe when i'm there.

i miss eslite bookstore that's just around the corner whenever i feel like getting away.

i miss the CD stores in which i've spent hours alone just trying out new indie music albums.

i miss shih's bagels.

i miss walking along the streets without having to worry that someone from nowhere will steal my bag or what-not *coughmalaysiacough*.

i miss visiting the 7-eleven stores and family marts just to roam around the isles and looking at products on the shelves.

i miss taking the super clean and super punctual metro.

i miss the beautiful scenery and flowers and clean pavements.

i miss how hospitable the people in taiwan is.

i miss the street food.

and i miss tiff.




taiwan was good. really good. it's been 13 years since i've been there, and i had finally set foot there again. i wonder when'll be the next?

翻! Taiwan, Pt. 2 of 3.

during the first weekend there, we headed down to 三峡San-Xia to visit Grandpa and Grandma Pan. we stayed at uncle and aunt's apartment in 三峡San-Xia for a couple of days while we were there.

远雄森林公园Yuan-Xiong-Sen-Lin Park, situated ride beside their apartment.

funky art statues at the nearby 三峡San-Xia Museum.

a beautiful pathway leading to 北大BeiDa University.

透视新三峡 ("tou-shi-xin-san-xia", translated as "looking at a new San-Xia"), the nearby museum.

远雄海洋公园Yuan-Xiong Water Garden, just a 5 minute walk away.

little bears in a glass display in the park, interestingly.

i have this utmost amazement when i saw their art and designs. creative. : )

uncle sam's american school.

fun fact: taiwan education is linked with that of america's whereas malaysia's is linked to the brits. : )

at 北大BeiDa University campus.

people are welcome to visit it anytime and it's got a really vast area. there aren't a lot of students there so it wasn't crowded; it was just right. : ) it was really nice just to walk around and take in all the scenery. really calming as well.

another dog we met on our walk in the campus. her name was dorothy. : ) too bad birdie was being hostile. hahaha.

michellious running uphill ftw. I LOVE WIDE OPEN SPACES THANK YOU. freedom is ridiculously good.

kick it.

at the lakeside.

drakes! : )

i spy with my little eye: A PROTON SAVVY. :D malaysia memang boleh. hahaha.

we headed down to 新竹Hsin-Chu for breakfast and lunch too. i got a little dreamy at the time because i was thinking about tiffo the whole time. i miss tiff. what's really coincidental was that on the day that i leave, she arrives back to Taiwan. coincidental much?

breakfast at 新竹Hsin-Chu's open market.

新竹Hsin-Chu's 蚵仔煎 ("ke-zai-jian" or "o-a-jian" in taiwanese language, translated to fried oysters).

famous 新竹红苕包子Hsin-Chu's Herbal Buns.

they have an interesting way of making it. : )

in 新竹Hsin-Chu. i wonder if tiffo remembers this. : )

natural water from underground.

then we headed up the mountains to visit the cold springs at 北埔冷泉Bei-Pu Cold Springs.

tadpolez.

then it was lunch at an old Hakka Restaurant.

moving on, we headed downhill and went to visit one of the orange farms to pick oranges. : )

a super huge vegetable. LOL

played a lot of mahjong to kill time while we were there. tiffo's mum and dad came to visit. : ))))

the mahjong king!! : )

one of my sister and my favourite drinks: Super XXLs from Family Mart! : ) they're these 750ml tea drinks that taste AWESOMEEEE. sister prefers the jasmine green tea while i am addicted to the lemon red tea. : ) for only NTD25 per bottle (around RM2.50), it's a really good buy. : D

the row of aparments.

the place is really really nice and comfortable. and one individual apartment has 5 storeys. :O

upon entering the front door, to the left are a flight of stairs that lead down to the basement where garage is...

... and in our case, where birdie lives. hehe.

let's move to the topmost floor and work our way downwards, shall we? : )

the veranda-cum-balcony on the topmost floor.

right inside is the lounge area.

overlooking the little park and streets.

on the fourth floor is where i stayed. this is my room. had the bed all to myself. : )

near the foot of the bed is my very own area where i can write things and read my book. i love how it's just all white and clean. : )

my sister and cousin julia's room on the third floor.

the computer and study room, also on the third floor.

the pull-out chair in the study room. cousin julia and my sister stayed here during our first night here.

the master bedroom on the second floor.

their bathroom.

first floor: kitchen and dinning area.

back to the boys room in the fourth floor, right next to mine.

and the elevator. this needs no introduction eh? hehe.

after the weekend we left for Taipei again. the first morning of the second week we headed to the zoo. : )

breakfast. : )

at the zoo! : )

the malaysian tapir!

... and the monkey that lives with it. LOL

sarawakian pride! : )

i'm a sucker for beautiful flowers, and taiwan has a crazy amount of it. ooooh LOVE. : D

at the butterfly farm! : )

on our way back after the zoo trip.

part two is done! moving on to the last post of my visit. bear with me! : )

翻! Taiwan, Pt. 1 of 3.

finally, the first post of my visit is done! i spent the night up uploading the first batch of pictures until 4am this morning but realised that there were too many so i had to split it into two batches AGAIN. there were too many in one go and my editor was starting to lag so i had to divide the post again. haha.


i almost wanted to go full throttle and add in all the captions and HTML editing as well but my eyes were killing me so i had to give in and sleep. only managed to finish this earlier so here it is, my first batch of photos from taiwan. : )

air asia's international flights got an upgrade: touch screen tablets to kill the boredom.

unfortunately we had to pay extra just to watch movies or play games on the thing (typical airasia), so we could only use the chatting system as it's the only application which we were free to use.

spent most of my time chatting with random people on the flight.

made new friends in the form of a brother and sister duo named louis and fiona. :)

cousin jason's chatroom "are we there yetttt" got the highest number of chatters. LOL

after four hours, we landed safely in Taiwan.

upon reaching the republic of china! : )

fun fact: the international airport is not situated in Taipei even though it is Taiwan's capital city. the international airport is situated in 桃园Tao-Yuan, just a 30-35 minutes drive away from Taipei. unlike Malaysia, Taiwan does not have states or divisions as the country is very small. instead, they have cities. : )

the first thing we had when we reached our aunt's place: 胡椒饼 ("hu-jiao-bing", translated as "pepper biscuits".)

don't let the name fool you; these mouthwatering roasted buns are to die for, with it's juicy succulent meat wrapped inside a deliciously crunchy outer shell. YUM.

pic taken from across the road from our aunt's apartment.

had dinner at this korean grill restaurant.

buffet style summore; an all you can eat!

we took a walk at the nearby park after dinner.

moving on to our next attempt: 臭豆腐 ("chou-dou-fu", a.k.a stinky tofu)

sister digging into the 蚵仔面线 ("ke-zai-mian-xian" or in the taiwanese language "o-a-mi-soa": taiwan's famous street food oyster noodles).

but cousin jason can't wait to dig into....

the famous 臭豆腐 ("chou-dou-fu", translated as stinky tofu)!

which was gone in about 5-7 minutes. :P

it was my first time trying out stinky tofu and to be honest it didn't smell as revolting as people have described it to be. it actually smells kindda mouthwatering, but that's only my take on it. however, it wasn't AS tasty as people said it was either. maybe it's because the ones i've had wasn't stinky enough. as they say, the smellier it is, the tastier it is as well.

taiwan underground tunnels.

way clean, no? i'd rather have these than the zebra crossing.

诚品书店 Eslite Bookstore, situated just 2 minutes away from my aunt's place.

whenever my aunt comes to malaysia for a visit she'd get me a book from Eslite's and it's always good. i can spend my whole day here at this 4-floor bookstore and not get sick of it.



on our way to the metro heading to 西门町Xi-Men-Ding, one of taiwan's biggest shopping paradises. here we are, passing by the University of Taipei on the left and the rows of bicycles parked outside.

3-storey Starbucks. i think miri needs one as well, or maybe even KL for that matter.

taiwan metro ticket! i prefer these little coins over the paper ones we have in malaysia. save the trees yo!

a brunch of chinese dim sum.

this cheesy-milky dish with veges at the bottom, drowned in creamy goodness is exquisitely odd but tasty.

xmas decorations at 西门町Xi-Men-Ding.

grilled "moa-zi-sao" (dunno how to spell it in chinese hehe), dipped in black sesame sauce omg yummmm. :D

*trained* dogs are EVERYWHERE in taiwan. the people there love their dogs to such an extent sometimes, it's amazing. :O

here is one prominent proof of taiwanese and their love for their dogs: 阿毛石锅燉饭 ("ah-mao-shi-guo-dun-fan"), a restaurant selling risotto cooked in stone bowls. the owner named the place after his Golden Retriever Ah-Mao. even the logo had his face on it. :)

a sleepy Ah-Mao, the mascot sleeping outside the restaurant. haha.

oddly they sell these mechanical bicycle-riding pandas everywhere.

taiwan beer, anyone? :D

at the metro, heading home.

I GOT MYSELF A LOCO-ROCO WHOO WTF! :D i love asian gatchapons. spent RM15 on the numberous gatchapons i got. :P

i love their super clean, super coordinated and super on-the-dot metro.

birdie, the family pooch.

taking turns at the computer (sadly). haha. XD

if i ain't out roaming, i'm in watching Cooking Master Boy and Spongebob Squarepants on teevee. : )

taiwan famous 蚵仔煎 ("ke-zai-jian" or "o-a-jian" in taiwanese language, translated to fried oysters).

i kindda love it because of the sauce that gives it a distinctive taste. rather different from the ones in malaysia, although i love both just as much.

the uber delicious 花枝丸汤 ("hua-zi-yuan"), a fancy name for handmade squid/octopus balls in soy sauce soup with vinegar and herbs. YUM.

super huge takoyaki balls.

milk tea shops are abundant in taiwan. i noticed that people usually don't order drinks for dinner (if they do it's only chinese tea). after dinner they head out to these shops and get themselves a beverage from the menu listing about 30-50 different tea drinks.

the third morning - a simple breakfast at 丹堤咖啡Dante's Coffee House.

i wish they had more little breakfast places like these in malaysia. it's so clean and homey and nice. food's good too. :)

the hot dog people...

...while i had my bagelzzzzzzzzzzzz. *LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE*

i have an unexplainable love for bagels.

gimme one and i'm good to go for the day. : )

walking past the museum of drinking water while heading to the pier.

rented bikes to ride down from 台北Taipei to 淡水Dan-Shui.

unfortunately the little one fell of the bike and got a bump on her head on the way there.

aunt was oddly calm though. haha.

upon arriving at 大稻埕码头Da-Dao-Cheng Wharf near 淡水Dan-Shui.

hunting for more food.

米苔目 ("mi-tai-mu", no exact translation but they're flour made into short noodles). in malaysia we call this 老鼠粉 ("lao-shu-fen", meaning rat's flour; because of its resemblance to a rat's tail).

taking the train to 淡水Dan-Shui to pick up cousin julia at her university.

淡水Dan-Shui is famous for it's riverside view. most people hang around here to watch the sunset and have their famous local delicacies.

one of which is the layered ice-cream. only NTD10 (around RM1) for a pop.

tasty handmade meatbuns. the steam fogged up my lens. LOL

cousin julia's 淡江大学TamKang University. it's really huge and the scenery is beautiful there. fun fact: it is one of the favourite spots for films and most famous taiwan celebrities study here, i.e the currently famous taiwanese musician 卢广仲. don't let his appearance fool you, coz he is a musical genius and his ads are EVERYWHERE in taiwan. :)

淡水Dan-Shui at night.

taking the train back home with cousin julia.

awesome porridge for supper. : )

the following morning we had some really awesome shabu-shabu, then we were off to...

... 台北地下街 Taipei's Underground Shopping Mall.

the place is so insanely clean, i secretly wanted to just roll around on the ground. (not so much of a secret now innit hehe)

at the main bus station.

that night we had dinner at 小蒙牛Little Mongolian, a mongolian style hotpot buffet place.

we ordered the 鹰鸯火锅 ("ying-yang-huo-guo"), a combination of herbal chicken soup and herbal spicy soup.

taiwan is famous for its odd foods, especially coagulated pig/duck's blood and, of course, stinky tofu.

cousin michael, satisfied with his platter. : )

he was too full to even move.

the spicy soup was SUPER SUPER spicy, even cousin jason had to take this much of drinks just to tone down the heat.

my evil pink rabbit.

cousin julia, having brunch with us at Yoshinoya.

the freaky little one.

my beef bowl OMG MY BEEF BOWL YUMMMMMM.

cousin j and m's chicken and beef bowl.

taipei university, just across the street from their place.

eslite bookstore YAY. : )

aunt tracy, all posing.

in the car, heading towards Taipei 101.

the chinese version of new york. haha.

Taipei 101 from afar. situated before it is Taiwan's World Trade Centre.

waiting as her mum backs up the car.

Taipei 101. : )

jason's market place, the second favourite place to head to on my list of supermarkets. : ) unfortunately i couldn't take any photos of the shops and restaurants while in 101.

but when i saw THIS, i couldn't help myself. had to sneakily do it too.

did you know that alcohol in taiwan is super cheap? these limited rock edition absolut vodkas would cost a bomb in malaysia. but here - it's NTD490 per pop (about RM49).

CHEAP CAN!?


so technically i couldn't help myself...

...but to get a bottle for my mother. : )

so sexyyyyy. *LOVE*

on our way across the overhead bridge to the mall next to Taipei 101 called 纽约纽约New York New York.

the faux Statue of Liberty.

part one is done! stay tuned if you want more taiwanese goodness. ; )